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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332906">Like Father, Like Son</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat'>Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agoraphobia, Angst, Background Relationships, Brief Attempted Self Harm, Broken Bones, Car Accidents, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreamscapes, Gen, Hallucinations, Harm to Children, Hospitals, Mind Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Mystery, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Post-Canon, Reality Bending, but for plot purposes, but not for a long while, he's fine, idk how else to phrase it, listen i will be completely clear in saying that Joshua just has a broken arm, maybe? just in case, my therapist really said 'you might have agoraphobia' and I went nuts with it, not quite but I should tag it, super minor i didn't even name them, the near death experiences tag isn't for him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:28:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joshua Freeman is a relatively normal fifteen year old. He tries his best in his classes, he hangs out with friends after school, he skateboards for fun, and he likes to play video games. He must have gotten all the "normal" genes in the family though, considering his dad is agoraphobic and can hardly leave his own room some days. Still, his dad loves him, and he tries his best to let Joshua live a full and happy life, despite his own anxieties.</p><p>But when Joshua starts having weird dreams where he's stuck in some sort of void and his only companion is a tall man in a suit, he might realize that his dad has had a lot more against him than he originally thought.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Gordon Freeman &amp; Joshua Freeman, Tommy Coolatta &amp; The G-Man</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a quick note before we get started, that there is mention of Joshua being afraid an animal is being abused. The animal is fine! It's just a concern of his. You can probably guess the animal, but I'm still not saying it... I hope you enjoy! I've always loved the idea of grown up Joshua dealing with some of the fallout (heh) of the game, and this idea popped into my head and it would not leave no matter what I tried. Some of the characters are going to be OOC, but those are for plot reasons, and I promise I'll address them sooner or later! I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’ll see you guys later!” Joshua called over his shoulder, waving at his friends. They called various goodbyes back, also waving. Joshua held his skateboard under his arm, since his dad made it very clear that he wasn’t supposed to ride it on the sidewalks or in the street. He used to object to that, but there was the time that Nancy had run into an old guy (luckily they were both fine) and Joe had almost been hit by a car, so he heeded his dad’s advice now-a-days. Well, he’d always heeded it, but now he didn’t complain about it. Still, the helmet was still on his head, and it was really tempting… </p>
<p>He shook his head. No, that was a bad idea. He didn’t want to get hit by a car. That’d be really bad, and his dad would panic, even if he did end up fine. His dad tended to do that. He was agoraphobic, as well as just a generally uptight and stressed guy. Joshua had no idea how he kept a job at this point. Sure, he worked from home, but he was too anxious to even boot up the computer half the time. At least that meant that Joshua was always safe.</p>
<p>His dad really was a good dad. He had been for the entirety of Joshua’s childhood. He’d been able to hold all that stuff in more when Joshua was younger, but as he’d gotten older it just seemed to kick in. Joshua sometimes wondered if it was because of him and if he should stay home more, but his dad always encouraged him to do what he wanted to, especially out of the house (although he always made sure that Joshua was safe).</p>
<p>Joshua himself was a bit of a daredevil. He wasn’t sure if it was some sort of teenage rebellion, or if he really was like that. He had common sense for sure, but if his dad found out that he’d been involved in the spray paint that wound up all over the side of the library, or that he’d skipped detention a couple of times, he was pretty sure he would have a heart attack. Hell, he’d probably freak out if he found out Joshua got detention at all. Skateboarding was something they could both agree on though, and Joshua was lucky that all his friends picked it up too. It was his favorite hobby, although he liked to play video games too. Mostly indie stuff, all the triple A games were boring or broken or glitched. His dad always needed to approve of what Joshua played (which was a bit much), but he almost always let him play what he wanted. It didn’t seem to be about the rating, but something else. Joshua didn’t ask, because sometimes asking his dad about things only made his fear worse.</p>
<p>Joshua shook his head, trying to get out of his thoughts. At this rate, he was going to walk right past his house. He’d somehow made it to his neighborhood already without realizing. He paused in front of a house that had a large “For Sale” sign in front of it. It’d been there for years, but there was something new in the yard. First of all, it had a chain link fence now, which Joshua could’ve sworn hadn’t been there that morning. What really caught his eye, though, was the golden retriever that was sitting at the foot of the front steps. It seemed like the dog was watching him. Which made sense, considering that he was the only one on the street, but it was more than that. He almost felt like the dog’s brown eyes were staring into his soul. It made him shiver, but his excitement at a cool dog overpowered that.</p>
<p>“Here, boy!” Joshua called. He wasn’t actually sure if the dog was a boy, but dogs usually responded to the word “here” anyway. The dog took a tentative step forward, but it glanced back at the house, almost like it was scared of whatever was inside. Joshua frowned. He’d be really pissed if anyone here was abusing this dog. It looked so nice and kind. “C’mon, it’s okay!” He encouraged. </p>
<p>The dog, slowly and carefully, trotted up to where Joshua was standing in front of the fence, and he held his hand out. The dog looked at his face for a long moment, it’s eyes still staring at him in a way that felt like much more than a simple look. The dog finally sniffed his hand, but that was all it did. It turned around and went to sit beside the steps again, still looking at Joshua. It was definitely weird behavior for a dog, and Joshua made a mental note to talk to his dad about someone maybe abusing the dog. He waved at the dog, and it yipped, before he turned to go back home.</p>
<p>His house was down the street, and he rapped the door twice before he pulled out his keys and unlocked it. He stepped inside by opening the door as little as possible, and he locked it behind him. He was glad his dad wasn’t so afraid that he insisted upon no electricity, since it was starting to get dark outside. The sun still wasn’t down, so he wasn’t late. His dad might worry anyways. “Dad?” He said, just barely above his normal speaking voice. He wasn’t allowed to yell in the house.</p>
<p>“Upstairs!” His dad called, slightly louder than Joshua had been. Which meant that Joshua could barely hear him, but he was used to straining his ears at this point. He headed upstairs and stopped in front of the door to his dad’s room. He rapped it twice as well, before he opened it. His dad turned in his desk chair and grinned at Joshua. “Hey bud! How was the skatepark?”</p>
<p>“Fun!” Joshua said. He left out the part where he and his friends had gone down one of the old alleys in that part of town. “Lizzie was rollerblading today!”</p>
<p>“Isn’t that really dangerous?” His dad asked, sounding worried.</p>
<p>Joshua fought the urge to roll his eyes, reminding himself that it wasn’t entirely his dad’s fault that he was this anxious and afraid. “She was wearing all her protective gear and stuff,” he said. “Plus she stayed at the easier part since she’s still learning.”</p>
<p>His dad nodded, seemingly satisfied. “What do you want for dinner?” He asked, carefully standing from his desk chair.</p>
<p>“Uh…” Joshua stopped to think. “Stir fry? I’ll help with the stove.”</p>
<p>His dad chuckled. “You only like that because of the cashews,” he teased.</p>
<p>“Not <i>only</i> because of the cashews,” Joshua whined, also teasing. His dad just chuckled and stepped into the kitchen.</p>
<p>His dad wasn’t really a germaphobe, which Joshua was really glad about, because he hated the look and texture of raw chicken. His dad was extra cautious about it, and always cut way too slow because of his fear of knives, but he still handled it all. Joshua manned the stove, since his dad was afraid of fire. While Joshua stirred the stir fry around, he thought about all the things his dad was afraid of. Fire, sewage, knives, guns, pain… All of those were pretty common (or at least understandable, when it came to sewage). It was some other stuff that Joshua found pretty weird. The concept of cloning, test tubes, singing, radioactivity, aliens, ropes, ladders, and, weirdest of all, soda. Who’s afraid of soda? Apparently, his dad.</p>
<p>Joshua zoned back in just in time to take the stir fry off the heat. He was glad his dad hadn’t picked up on the fact that he’d been up in his thoughts while he was dealing with the gas stovetop. He plated their diner, and carried it over to the table. Normal plates and silverware, but plastic cups. His dad followed him, and they sat down to eat. Joshua rambled about the tricks he’d done at the skatepark, leaving out the times that he’d messed up and fallen. His dad told him about his work, but also about a video game he’d picked up. That really surprised Joshua. Video games seemed to be the bane of his dad’s existence. Joshua couldn’t even convince him to let him have a console, so he was stuck with PC games. But his dad had picked one up, apparently.</p>
<p>“It just kinda… called out to me,” his dad said. “And it… it wasn’t a first person shooter or anything, so that helped.” </p>
<p>Joshua grinned. “That’s awesome, Dad! Does it have multiplayer? We could play together!”</p>
<p>His dad smiled and nodded. “Yeah! I think you already have it actually? It’s called Journey.”</p>
<p>Joshua lit up. “Yeah! That game is so cool! And the art is so pretty, I bet you’re gonna love it!”</p>
<p>The two of them launched into talking about the video game from there, his dad only occasionally getting anxious. Joshua helped with cleaning the dishes, before the two of them sat down on the couch and his dad flipped through channels. No sports allowed, someone might get hurt. Most adult shows were definitely out, including adult cartoons (although Joshua was honestly fine with that). Joshua outright refused kids’ channels, because most of them were boring (at least by his standards). He wished they had some sort of streaming service so they’d have more options, but his dad was afraid of his identity being stolen through his credit card, and piracy was an even worse stressor. Eventually, they settled on some Disney Channel sitcom, and it was surprisingly good. A dog showed up on camera at some point, and Joshua suddenly remembered the dog down the street.</p>
<p>“Hey, Dad?” He said. His dad hummed instead of replying. “I saw a dog in front of that house for sale down the street.”</p>
<p>His dad sat upright quickly, and took Joshua’s hands to turn them over, looking for injuries. “Did it bite you? Scratch you? Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Dad, I’m fine!” Joshua said, yanking his hands back. “I would’ve told you if I was hurt, okay?”</p>
<p>His dad sighed and sat back against the couch again. “You’re right, you’re right, sorry,” he said. “Still, a stray dog around the neighborhood is probably bad… Maybe you should be a little more careful?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think it was stray though,” Joshua said. His dad tilted his head in confusion. “Well, there’s a chain link fence there now, so it couldn’t have reached me anyways. And the dog kept glancing back at the house like there was someone in it who might see it.” Joshua shrugged. “It seemed really afraid to approach me. I’m worried whoever lives there might be abusing it.”</p>
<p>His dad bit his lip and nodded. “Well… keep an eye out, okay? If the dog is still there and still acting weird for the next few days, we’ll let someone know, okay?” Joshua nodded. They definitely didn’t have enough proof to actually do anything, but his dad wasn’t freaking out anymore, so that was good. Still, his dad didn’t relax again, and Joshua felt a little guilty. Not enough that he regretted it, but still. Eventually, his dad flipped off the TV and stood up to stretch. “It’s getting late, Joshie, and you’ve got school tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Joshua groaned, but he stood up as well. “Fiiiiiiiiiine,” he playfully whined. “And before you ask, yes, I did do all my homework.” He hadn’t studied for a test he had tomorrow, but he had done his homework, so he wasn’t really lying.</p>
<p>His dad smiled and ruffled his hair. “I knew you would, I just like to check,” he said. “Now c’mon. It’s bedtime.”</p>
<p>Joshua followed his dad up the stairs and hugged him tightly in the hallway between their rooms. They exchanged “goodnight”s and “I love you”s, before Joshua closed the door to his room behind him. His dad used to insist that he keep his door open in case something happened, but his dad slept with the lights on and it bugged Joshua. They came to an agreement, and his dad seemed fine with it all now. Joshua was pretty sure his dad just needed some exposure therapy, but he wasn’t sure how to help with that, and his dad always insisted that he didn’t need a therapist. Not out of fear, Joshua knew what his dad was like when he was afraid (obviously). He just got cagy about it, like he wasn’t comfortable even thinking about it. Discomfort, not fear.</p>
<p>Joshua quickly changed before collapsing in bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while, at the glow in the dark stars that his dad had helped him put up when he was little. His dad wasn’t scared of ladders then, or at least was better at hiding it. He stood on a ladder and put the stars wherever Joshua asked him to. His other dad had stood in the doorway and laughed whenever Joshua got particularly excited. Current Joshua sighed and rolled over to stare at the wall. He missed his other dad sometimes, but he knew that his two dads in the same house just wouldn’t work, not anymore at least. His dad was too afraid and anxious, and his other dad was too reckless and impulsive. </p>
<p>It led to Joshua only having one dad, in the end. </p>
<p>He began to cry silently, something that wasn’t entirely uncommon. Joshua really couldn’t complain, but he was still sad a lot of the time. He sometimes wondered if he needed to see a therapist, but he hadn’t brought it up with his dad. He knew his dad would let him go if he asked, he was always so concerned about Joshua’s health, but he didn’t want to make his dad drive again. And it wasn’t like Joshua could drive, he had no one to get his learner’s permit hours in with, so he hadn’t even bothered with that test. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, more trying to stop the tears than anything.</p>
<p>When he opened them again, he was surrounded by darkness. Literally surrounded. It didn’t seem like there was a floor because it was all dark, but he was sitting on something all the same. The dark had the occasional white streak running through it, but they went by so fast that Joshua couldn’t tell what they were. They weren’t clouds though, he could tell that. He carefully got to his feet and looked around. Everywhere seemed to look the same, and he couldn’t tell if there were walls anywhere around him. He took a couple steps forward, and didn’t run into anything, so he took a couple more.</p>
<p>“You… you must be Joshua,” a voice said from behind him.</p>
<p>He yelped and turned around quickly. There was a tall man standing there, his forearms folded behind his back. He was wearing an impressive suit, and his face seemed a bit gaunt and almost devoid of expression. “Uh…” Joshua said. “I… yeah, that’s me.”</p>
<p>“Excellent,” the man said. “I’m glad I was able to… find you.” He looked Joshua over. “Tell me, Joshua… how old are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m fifteen,” Joshua answered. On one hand he felt like he shouldn’t give this man any information about himself, but on the other, this was just a dream. A freaky one, sure, but just a dream. “Why?”</p>
<p>“I… needed to do some math,” the man replied. “I haven’t seen you since you were… very young. And even then it was only… only in a picture.”</p>
<p>“Uh… okay, sure,” Joshua finally said. “Hey, where are we?”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure, myself,” the man replied. “I believe… the best name for it would be… ‘The Void’. That’s not particularly interesting though.” He was quiet for a long moment. “I saw that… you met the dog down the street today.”</p>
<p>Joshua nodded. Again, it was just a dream. It made sense that the man would know things that Joshua had done or seen recently. “Uh, yeah,” Joshua said. “It looked a little afraid of me.”</p>
<p>“I can assure you that… that she was not afraid,” the man replied. “And I understand your concern for her, but I can also assure you that she is… perfectly safe.”</p>
<p>Joshua nodded absentmindedly. “What’s your name?” He finally asked.</p>
<p>The man stood still for a long time, before he finally answered. “You may call me Mr. Coolatta,” he finally said.</p>
<p>Joshua snorted. “Really? Coolatta? Is that actually your last name?”</p>
<p>“Perhaps it is, and perhaps it isn’t,” the man, Mr. Coolatta, said. “I believe that you think I am… nothing more than a dream. A nightmare, at best.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re just a dream,” Joshua said. “Lucid dreaming in the void. Fun!” He did a dramatic spin, but quickly became dizzy since there was nothing to focus on. “Oh, geez…”</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta chuckled. “I believe that you and I will get along, Joshua,” he said. “I may have to alter my plans for you…”</p>
<p>Joshua suddenly felt his blood run cold. “Uh… what?”</p>
<p>“I believe… you will be meeting that dog again very soon, Joshua,” Mr. Coolatta said. “Myself as well. I’ve got some lessons to pass onto you…” He smiled, and it wasn’t anywhere near as terrifying as Joshua thought it would be. “However, I believe this meeting of ours is… coming to a close. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, but your alarm is about to go off. And we wouldn’t want you missing school, now would we?” </p>
<p>“Uh… I guess not,” Joshua replied. He still felt unreasonably cold. “Can I ask what the dog’s name is, at least?”</p>
<p>“Her name is Sunkist,” Mr. Coolatta replied. “And she is the perfect dog.”</p>
<p>Joshua jerked awake as his alarm clock went off. He groaned and rubbed at his eyes. Stupid dream… he didn’t feel rested at all. He sighed and carefully got out of bed. He wondered how long he’d remember the weird dream, especially since he remembered every single part of it. He normally remembered only bits of his dreams, and they disappeared within the day, but this one was so clear in his mind. </p>
<p>He’d have to see if the dog responded to “Sunkist”. The name made him chuckle.</p>
<p>It would really freak his dad out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So! I rewrote the second half of this chapter maybe,,,, three times? I originally wrote it, and then changed an important plot point, so I had to go through and get rid of a bunch of stuff. So the flow might not be great, especially for the long bit of dialogue towards the end. I'm really sorry about that, but I think the change is going to be good in the long run. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua totally bombed the test in his science class that Monday, but he didn’t really care. Okay, well, he cared, that was a big test! But it was one of the last things on his mind. He still remembered every single detail of his dream. From the random flashes of white whizzing past him in the dark to the gaunt face of the man in the suit. “Mr. Coolatta”. Honestly, where did his brain come up with this stuff?</p>
<p>He was shaken from the thoughts during lunch, when he and his friends got into an argument about whether Magic the Gathering was a TTRPG.</p>
<p>“It totally isn’t!” Joshua yelled, both over the general sound of the cafeteria and his own friends’ voices. “There’s no roleplaying in it at all! It’s all just strategy!” He was about to say that the strategy was important and cool, but Joe interrupted him.</p>
<p>“There’s a game for it though!” He said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, a totally separate game!” Lizze butted in. “The base game doesn’t have that element!”</p>
<p>“Some people play it like there is!” Joe said.</p>
<p>Joshua wasn’t really sure that that was right, but he didn’t have long to think about it, before Joe’s random gesturing became a little too violent, and a little too close to Joshua’s face. He ended up basically punching him in the nose, and he fell out of the shitty cafeteria chair. “Ow!” He yelled. He could feel something trickling out of his nose, and he felt fear corse through his body when he realized it was blood.</p>
<p>“Josh!” Almost all his friends yelled as they got up and came over to him. Lizzie handed him a napkin to stop the bleeding, and Joe was apologizing profusely. Joshua couldn’t hear it though, suddenly up in his head.</p>
<p>This was the first time he had bled in years. It was sort of fascinating. He wasn’t about to let it happen again, since it hurt like hell, but it was still so weird. Moving the napkin away from his face and seeing it stained red. It wasn’t even a lot of blood, and it cleared up quickly. He assumed that it probably wouldn’t have hurt all that much if he was more used to pain. A jolt of electricity went through his body as he realized that he was going to have to explain this to his dad.</p>
<p>In fact, it looked like he’d have to explain it even sooner and more than he thought, since he, Lizzie, and Joe were being ushered to the office by one of the teachers. Joe and Lizzie were both telling her what happened, but Joshua just stared at the ground as he walked. His dad was going to have to drive out here. His dad was going to have to interact with people face to face. His dad was going to have to see Joshua right after he got hurt. He was sure that they wouldn’t let him sit in the office with bloody hands, but they’d definitely tell his dad that he had been bleeding, no matter how short it had been.</p>
<p>Joshua realized that he felt fear, not for himself, but for his dad.</p>
<p>He sat silently in the office. Joe kept glancing at him, and Joshua realized that he’d never said it was okay. He couldn’t find it in himself to do it. Once he got to wash off his hands, though, he reached out to take Joe’s hand and squeeze it. Joe squeezed back, and that seemed to be enough. After a while, Joe and Lizzie left the office, but no one came over to make him leave, or fussed at him when he didn’t, and he knew that his dad was on his way, no matter how slowly it was. He was sitting on his hands when his dad came into the office. He looked surprisingly put together.</p>
<p>“Josh?” He asked and he sat in the chair next to Joshua. Joshua remained silent. “You okay, bud? You can just nod.” Joshua shrugged. He really didn’t know. “Does your face hurt?” Joshua cracked a small smile, knowing what was coming next. “Cuz it’s killing me.” His dad said it with nothing but fondness in his voice, not meaning it, not even in a teasing way. “I think I have to talk with whoever’s in charge for a little bit, but I’ll be right back.” Joshua nodded. His dad kissed the top of his head, before he headed into the side office where the principal was. A couple minutes later, his dad left the side office, signed some paper, and held his hand out to Joshua. Joshua took it, not even bothering with the fact that he was “too old”. He got a feeling that it was as much for his dad as it was for him.</p>
<p>They at least got to the car before his dad started fussing over him. “It doesn’t hurt still, does it?” He asked. “Do you think your nose is broken? Should we go to the hospital? Are you going to be okay?”</p>
<p>“Dad, I’m fine,” Joshua said, finally finding his voice. “It was an accident, and it stopped bleeding after, like, two minutes. It doesn’t even hurt that bad anymore.” He was sure if he touched it, it would hurt worse, but that was true for any injury. “Joe’s not strong enough to break my nose, not even on purpose.” He chuckled, avoiding his usual snort of laughter to take it easy on his nose.</p>
<p>His dad took a couple deep breaths. “Okay,” he finally said. “Okay, yeah, you’re okay. You’re a tough guy, of course you’re okay.” He took another few deep breaths before he put his hands on the steering wheel, perfectly at ten and two. He just sat like that for another minute, before actually starting to drive. He was slow, but he was also taking back roads so they wouldn’t be a hazard to themselves or anyone else on the roads with higher speed limits.</p>
<p>Joshua sat still for a while, sitting on his hands again, before he spoke again. “I’m sorry, Dad,” he said quietly.</p>
<p>“What for?” His dad asked, still not taking his eyes off the road. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”</p>
<p>“I got hurt though,” Joshua said.</p>
<p>“Josh, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was a total accident,” his dad said comfortingly. “I… what makes you think you need to be sorry for accidentally getting hurt?”</p>
<p>“I scared you,” Joshua mumbled.</p>
<p>His dad was quiet for a long moment. “Joshua…” he said quietly, “I… I never realized you thought that much about scaring me.” Joshua stayed silent, not really wanting to say how much he worried. “That must be hell, huh?” Joshua slowly nodded. “Gosh, I’m so sorry, Josh.” His dad sighed. “There’s just… there’s a lot of stuff that happened to me when you were really little that I just… I don’t know how to explain. Or even if I should. But it hurt me, and it made me really scared, and…” His dad trailed off, before he took a deep breath. “Well, I guess it’s been thirteen years. It’s about time I moved on, huh?” He chuckled. Joshua felt the car speed up. Not by much, ten miles tops, but it stayed that speed. His dad even glanced at him. “You deserve a dad that’s able to come out to your school without taking almost half an hour.”</p>
<p>“You’re a great dad,” Joshua said. “I know you’re scared of a lot, and anxious about even more, but you’re still a great dad. You let me talk about things I like, even if they make you anxious sometimes. You let me do stuff I like, even if it’s out of the house where you can’t watch me, or if it’s stuff that might get me hurt. I mean… you’re definitely good in that you make sure I’m always safe.” They both chuckled at that. “I mean… I won’t say that… that I’d be against you getting out more and stuff, but… you’re already a good dad.”</p>
<p>His dad was quiet for another moment, before he nodded. “Baby steps,” he said. “I’ll take baby steps to getting better. It’s the best way to make progress.”</p>
<p>Joshua nodded, a small smile on his face. He was quiet for the rest of the car ride, until his eye was caught by a flash of gold out the window. He turned just in time to see the dog sitting in the yard with the “For Sale” sign still. The dog (Sunkist?) was watching the car as it went by, but Joshua still felt like it (she?) was staring not only specifically at him, but into the core of himself as well. He didn’t say anything about it until his dad had pulled into the driveway. “The dog’s still there, Dad,” he said, pointing down the street. His dad turned to look, and his eyes went wide. He grabbed Joshua’s hand and pulled him into the house quickly. “Dad? Dad, are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I… I…” his dad stared down at his hands. He slowly curled and uncurled his fingers, while taking some more deep breaths. “Y-yeah. Um. You didn’t say that it was a golden retriever.” Chalk that up as another weirdly specific thing his dad was afraid of. “You can… you can still go and see it, if you want. Y’know, make sure it’s okay. Just… I don’t think I can really…” his dad sighed, and turned to lock the door again. “I can’t go with you. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Dad,” Joshua said. He watched as his dad flexed his fingers again, and he didn’t have the chance to bite his tongue before the question pushed itself out of his chest. “Is… is this about your recurring nightmare?”</p>
<p>Joshua’s dad would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, screaming about something or other. Joshua could never get a clear answer out of him during the panic attacks, and his dad always ignored it the next morning. He turned to Joshua, looking almost… dark. Not afraid, not anxious, not even angry, just… dark. “I don’t want to talk about that, Joshua,” he said firmly.</p>
<p>“I-I know, Dad, I just-“</p>
<p>“We’re not talking about it,” his dad said, his voice full of finality. He went further into the house, still just looking darkly at everything around the house. Joshua followed him as quietly as he could. He knew his dad was watching him over his shoulder, but that wasn’t too uncommon. This felt different though… “What do you want?” His dad snapped as he turned to him. Joshua flinched. He was not used to his dad raising his voice at him. His dad seemed to realize what he’d done a second later. “Oh, Joshie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“</p>
<p>“I-It’s okay, Dad,” Joshua mumbled. “I think I’m gonna, uh… I think I’m gonna go lie down for a while.” </p>
<p>His dad swallowed thickly, and Joshua could already see tears in his eyes. He was about to say something else when his dad nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” he said. “I need to calm down for a bit too.” He opened his arms, and Joshua hugged him tightly. “I’m really sorry, bud. Just… a rough day.”</p>
<p>Joshua nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He felt like he had to apologize, but he wasn’t even sure what he’d done wrong. He just let go of his dad and went to his room. He considered playing a game or reading, but he realized he was suddenly very tired. He kicked his shoes off, not bothering to change, before he flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes.</p>
<p>“Welcome… welcome back, Joshua.”</p>
<p>Joshua sat upright quickly and looked around. He was in the void again, watching the white streaks go by. There seemed to be more of them.</p>
<p>“Do you… need a hand?” Mr. Coolatta asked. He was standing in front of Joshua, holding one hand out as an offer to help him up.</p>
<p>Joshua swallowed, and realized he hadn’t touched Mr. Coolatta at all last time. “I’m good,” he said in as even a voice as he could muster, but he stood on his own. “This is a, um… really weird reoccurring dream…”</p>
<p>“I believe I… implied that this wasn’t at all a… dream in our last meeting,” Mr. Coolatta said. “I understand how hard it could be to believe it, but I… I am as real as you are. And so is this… this void.” Mr. Coolatta gestured to the space around the two of them. “Tell me, Joshua, how did… how did that happen?” He redirected his gesturing to Joshua’s face.</p>
<p>Joshua brought his hand up to his nose, and it came away red. “O-oh. Uh…” he was quiet for a moment, scared at the idea that either his subconscious was making up people to torment him now, but even more scared at the idea that this really wasn’t a dream and Mr. Coolatta had made him bleed again. “Just an… an accident. It’s not a big deal.”</p>
<p>“An accident, hmm?” Mr. Coolatta said. He tilted his head slightly, but his expression didn’t change to one of questioning. “How did… how did your father react?”</p>
<p>“Not that badly, actually,” Joshua said. He looked around cautiously, before he sat again, on what he could only assume was the ground. “He was pretty calm and stuff when he was talking to the principal, but when we got to the car he did his usual stuff.” Joshua was quiet for a moment. He couldn’t see Mr. Coolatta’s face, but he could feel his eyes on the back of his head. “He seemed to…” Joshua trailed off.</p>
<p>He heard movement behind him, and Mr. Coolatta was sitting beside him a moment later. “You can tell me,” he said. His voice held just a hint of emotion, although Joshua couldn’t place it. “I am… here to listen. And, I am… I am on a mission to help.”</p>
<p>“Mission?” Joshua asked.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid, Joshua, that that information is… classified,” Mr. Coolatta replied. “But I can… I can certainly listen.”</p>
<p>Joshua nodded. The thought of Mr. Coolatta being on a mission of some kind made him pause, but the thought seemed to dull and seem more normal in a manner of seconds, and he was talking again. “Dad seemed to realize that… that I’ve kinda been having a lot of anxiety over him and the way he handles himself.” Mr. Coolatta nodded. “He’s agoraphobic, and he tries really hard to let me do my own, somewhat more normal, thing. He said, um… he said that he’d try to come out of his shell some, and… and get at least a little better.”</p>
<p>“It sounds like… like he is at least making some sort of an attempt,” Mr. Coolatta said. Joshua registered his voice as just slightly angry (perhaps resentful?), but it was gone in a second. “However, you still seem… distressed. Did, perhaps, something happen?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Joshua said. “When we pulled into the driveway, I pointed to Sunkist to show Dad, and he freaked out. Apparently he doesn’t like golden retrievers. He said that I could keep an eye on her, cuz even if they freak him out, he doesn’t want one to get hurt. I mean, he didn’t say all that, but it’s what he meant.” Joshua had gotten very good at figuring out what his dad was trying to say instead of what he was actually saying. “I asked… I asked why it freaked him out so much, and he got mad enough to snap at me.”</p>
<p>“Snap at… you?” Mr. Coolatta asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Joshua said. “He yelled at me for following him. Normally it makes him a little anxious, but he’d never yelled at me about it before.” Joshua sighed. “I just wish…” he trailed off as he turned to Mr. Coolatta.</p>
<p>He looked more emotional than Joshua had seen him. Granted, Joshua had only seen him twice, but both times he had just barely shown any hint of emotion, and now it seemed like he was wearing his heart on his sleeve. His face was twisted in sadness, but it seemed to hold something else as well. Maybe anger? Joshua couldn’t tell. He was about to say something when Mr. Coolatta cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Well… that is truly upsetting to hear,” he said. “I imagine it must be hard for your father to… to deal with that constant… fear.”</p>
<p>“Yeah… I think it really is…” Joshua tried not to cry when he thought about what his dad had to deal with on a daily basis. “I just wish I knew what happened. I wish I could help him somehow…”</p>
<p>“Well, Joshua, I have… something of a family myself,” Mr. Coolatta said. “Sometimes someone you l-love will be going through something that… you have no idea about. The best you can do is… support them. You should not feel guilty about what you may… or may not be doing that ‘helps’. Especially since you are… you are only fifteen. You should not have to worry about your… your father’s well being. He should be taking care of… you.”</p>
<p>Joshua thought that Mr. Coolatta sounded like he was sad, but the thought was gone in an instant. A different one replaced it. “Wait, I never found out for sure that the dog’s name is Sunkist. I didn’t even find out if she’s actually a girl. How did my mind come up with that anyways?”</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta didn’t react for a long time. “Your mind didn’t ‘come up’ with it… Joshua,” he finally said. “She was… made with that name. She has… has had it as long as she has been… alive.”</p>
<p>“‘Made’?” Joshua asked. </p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta bit his lip, but he nodded. “Yes, made,” he finally said. “She was… she was made by a… a very smart scientist. In a… a test tube, I believe.”</p>
<p>“What?” Joshua asked. He couldn’t help laughing, and missed the way that Mr. Coolatta’s expression changed to slight anger for a split second. “Sorry, I just can’t imagine a test tube holding a golden retriever.”</p>
<p>“They come in… in all shapes and sizes,” Mr. Coolatta said.</p>
<p>“Well… if it’s a different shape, is it still a tube?” Joshua asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Mr. Coolatta said with finality. Not like he was correcting Joshua, but like he had had this conversation several times. “They are still… test tubes. It is simply… simply a common turn of… turn of phrase that can be applied to all things of… of that nature.”</p>
<p>“If you say so, man,” Joshua said. He looked down and realized that his whole shirt was covered in blood. He yelped and jerked backwards. “What the hell?!?” He shouted.</p>
<p>“Oh dear,” Mr. Coolatta said. “M-my apologies, Joshua. I had forgotten about your nose bleed.” He snapped his fingers, and the blood disappeared. Joshua wiped at his nose, and his hand came back clean. “I am just… glad that I decided against… bringing up the memory of the pain.”</p>
<p>The blood may have been gone, but Joshua felt more shaken than he had when it had started. “This… this really isn’t a dream, is it?” He asked.</p>
<p>“No, Joshua. It really isn’t.” Joshua felt something begin to pull him out of the void, and Mr. Coolatta watched him as he went. Joshua waved, not sure of what else to do, and Mr. Coolatta nodded to him. Joshua could have sworn that he saw a flash of gold before he woke up.</p>
<p>“Josh?” His dad said as he gently shook Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua’s eyes opened quickly, and he looked around. “Whoa, are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”</p>
<p>“Uh…” Joshua swallowed. How the hell was he supposed to tell his dad that a strange man in a suit was invading his dreams? “N-no. You just startled me, is all,” he lied. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” his dad said. He glanced off to the side, before clearing his throat. “Uh… dinner’s ready.”</p>
<p>“Dinner?” Joshua asked. “Did I really sleep that long?”</p>
<p>“W-well, I kind of got an early start with it, and-”</p>
<p>“Wait, dinner?” Joshua asked, more incredulously. “You made dinner by yourself?”</p>
<p>“I mean, I just used the microwave to heat up some leftovers, but… yeah. I guess.” His dad shrugged. “I figured I should let you sleep, you had a long day.”</p>
<p>“Not really,” Joshua said with a shrug. “But, uh… let’s eat!” He grinned at his dad, who smiled back. He made his way out of Joshua’s room, talking about something that Joshua wasn’t paying attention to. Instead, Joshua brought his hand up to his nose and pressed against it slightly.</p>
<p>No pain. Not even any soreness.</p>
<p>He swallowed thickly. Despite the lack of pain, that really wasn’t a good sign.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact! Joe is right! There is a homebrew system of Magic the Gathering that makes it more of an RPG! It's called "Magic: the Gathering of Heroes"! I've never played Magic the Gathering in my life and I stumbled on that completely by random, so I knew I had to make it the "nerdy argument" of the chapter (especially cuz I didn't wanna do the whole "Star Wars vs Star Trek" thing).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I AM BEGGING YOU GUYS TO READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE, EVEN IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE OTHERS!!!</p><p>I added a ton of tags to the fic since this chapter became a lot more than I thought it was going to be. It is also a,,,,, super dark chapter. Make sure you read the tags and read with caution. If there's something that I forgot to tag, or you feel needs to be tagged but isn't, please let me know! I want everyone to be comfortable with what they're reading, even if it's dark and angsty. </p><p>That being said, from a writing perspective, this fic is going to become very fast paced very quickly. I have trouble writing longer multichaptered things, and I really love this idea, so I wanted to be able to finish this. Meaning I lowered the number of chapters without editing the direction of the story, meaning that the rest are gonna be kinda face paced.</p><p>Also, be prepared for lots of cliff hangers &gt;:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua was happy to note that his dad really was making an effort to be better. He was still terrified, but he was pushing through it. He talked to Joshua about how he was able to do work more days out of the week. They even tried playing Journey together, although his dad had to stop after a half an hour. Joshua had pat his arm while he shook for a little while, but his dad turned to smile at him when he had stopped, and they watched a movie instead.</p><p>Mr. Coolatta continued to visit Joshua’s dreams, but it wasn’t every night. Some nights he would be there and the two of them would sit in the void and talk, some nights they would sit in silence, and some nights Joshua would have a dreamless sleep. He started feeling something new in his waking hours though. He always felt like he was being watched, but he didn’t see anyone anywhere. Sometimes he would shiver for no reason, and when he looked around, he could have sworn that he saw something in the shadows. He shrugged it off, but made sure that he didn’t ignore it completely either. If anything about it changed, he’d let his dad know. As much as he didn’t want to worry his dad, he figured that seeing things was something to bring up.</p><p>It was almost two weeks before anything big really happened.</p><p>Joshua was walking home from the skatepark, his skateboard tucked under his arm again. He was carrying his helmet in his other head today, since he’d been getting a little too comfortable with thinking about skating in the street, and he really didn’t want to betray his dad’s trust like that. He was still glancing at the street every now and then, looking for any cars. There weren’t any. There never were at this time of day. He was so caught up in his thoughts about skating in the street that he didn’t notice the low growling coming from further up the street. By the time he had, he was too late to do anything aside from throw his arms up over his face as the giant great dane jumped at his face with its teeth bared.</p><p>He waited for the sharp pain in his right arm, but it never came. He just heard a lot of loud barking, and then whining. He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter when a shadow fell over him, but all he felt was a large, warm tongue lapping at his hands. He carefully opened his eyes and peeked between his arms to look at the dog.</p><p>The golden retriever (Sunkist?) that lived in the old house’s yard was standing over him. He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen down, but the dog was much bigger than the average golden retriever, so he wasn’t surprised that it towered over him when he wasn’t on his feet. It looked big enough that it might when he was standing as well.</p><p>“Uh… thanks,” he said awkwardly. He felt a little silly for talking to a dog like it was a person, but there was something about Sunkist that made him feel calm. Sunkist barked, and a small burst of green light left her mouth. Joshua didn’t notice, despite the fact that he definitely should have seen it. “Are you Sunkist?” Another bark, this time with yellow light. “Okay, nice. Um… are you doing okay? No one’s being mean to you in that house, right?” The idea of talking to Sunkist like a person didn’t seem strange to Joshua anymore. Sunkist barked again, and Joshua nodded. “Okay, I’m glad that you’re alright.” He turned to the massive chain link fence that he was standing beside. He had the faint thought that the house hadn’t been in this location earlier, but it faded away quickly. “How did you get out of the fence?” He walked along it for a moment, looking for any holes or places that Sunkist could have dug herself out. He didn’t see any. There seemed to be no explanation of how Sunkist could have gotten out. “Did you jump?” He said it as a joke, but when Sunkist barked, his eyes widened. “Wow… that’s a pretty big jump…” The fence was easily nine feet tall. “Has it always been that tall?” Joshua wondered aloud quietly. He quickly assumed that it had been.</p><p>He turned back to Sunkist and reached out to scratch behind her ears. “Well, I’m glad you’re safe,” he said. “You can’t really come to my house, but I’ll try and give you a pat when I come by, okay?” Sunkist barked again, and licked Joshua’s face. He laughed and gave her one last pat before he continued on to his house. He didn’t even notice that she was the same height as him.</p><p>Sunkist blipped out of existence as soon as the door to the Freeman residence was closed. She trotted through the void, her nails clicking against the nonexistent floor to let the man waiting for her know that she was coming. She sat at his feet and looked up at him. She barked and a spiral of red came out of her throat.</p><p>“I know, girl,” the man said. He scratched behind her ears as he watched a scene of Joshua talking to his dad from an angle that let him see both of their faces despite the fact that he couldn’t hear either of them. “I don’t like it… either. He’s only… a child.” The man sighed and knelt down to hug Sunkist tightly. She rested her head against his shoulder. “I miss him,” the man whispered, and Sunkist barked quietly. “I know you do too… we will see him again… soon. We will be a family again.” The man stood and turned back to his view of the Freeman house.</p>
<hr/><p>“So your dad actually left the house yesterday?” Joe asked. He cracked open his Dr. Pepper, and Joshua reminded himself that water was better after physical activities so he wouldn’t feel too jealous.</p><p>“Yeah. It was so weird… we just kinda walked around for a while. I had to hold his hand the whole time, but we made it work.” Joshua shrugged. “I’m really proud of him, honestly. It’s only been a couple months but he’s doing way better.”</p><p>“All this cuz I accidentally punched you in the face?” Joe asked with a grin. Joshua laughed and shoved him gently. The incident was funny now that it had been two and half months since it happened. </p><p>Joshua kicked his feet in the air, sitting on the edge of the bowl while his other friends practiced tricks around him. He and Joe had decided to take a break since it was getting closer to when Joshua would have to go home. His helmet rested at his side as he drank from his water bottle, but his gaze turned to Joe’s Dr. Pepper. “Hey,” he said, “can I have a sip?”</p><p>“I thought you weren’t allowed to have soda,” Joe said, raising an eyebrow at Joshua. </p><p>“What my dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Joshua replied. Joe shrugged and handed the can over. Joshua took a small sip, before immediately handing the can back to him. “I did not… I did not expect carbonation to be like that,” he said, sticking his tongue out. Joe laughed loudly, and Joshua shoved him again.</p><p>“Woah! Dog!” Lizzie shouted, pointing off to their right. They turned to look at where she was pointing, and Joshua’s face lit up when he saw Sunkist. “Do you think it’s here with anyone? Maybe we shouldn’t go up to it…” Lizzie said.</p><p>“It’s just Sunkist!” Joshua replied. He hopped up and rushed over to her. She barked and jumped at him to lick his face. He laughed and rubbed at her sides. He turned to his friends with a grin, but it quickly dropped when he saw their expressions. “What?”</p><p>“It’s massive,” Joe said quietly.</p><p>“Well, yeah! She’s a golden retriever! They’re big dogs!” Joshua said.</p><p>“No, Josh, she’s… she’s as tall as you,” Lizzie said.</p><p>Joshua bit his lip and looked at Sunkist again. “Yeah, well… I am kinda short…” he mumbled.</p><p>“You’re five foot six!” Lizzie said. “Besides, I thought your dad wouldn’t let you get a dog…”</p><p>“Oh, she’s not mine!” Joshua said. Sunkist began to chase her tail, and he laughed. </p><p>“Then who’s is she?” Joe asked, taking a small step forward.</p><p>“She lives at the old house down the street from mine,” Joshua said.</p><p>Joe and Lizzie came over to him and Sunkist and looked her over. “Did someone move in?” Lizzie asked.</p><p>“I don’t think so,” Joshua replied. “She just sits in the yard behind the huge chain link fence.”</p><p>Joe and Lizzie shared a look. “Joshua, are you feeling okay?” Joe asked.</p><p>“Huh?” Joshua asked, turning to the two of them. “Yeah, why?”</p><p>“None of that makes sense,” Lizzie said. “And… and who names their dog ‘Sunkist’? Isn’t that a soda?”</p><p>“Yeah, and an orange company,” Joe added. He looked at Sunkist for another moment, before asking, “does she look a little… too perfect to you guys?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Lizzie said. “It’s kinda eerie. She just seems to be… spotless, somehow.”</p><p>“She is the perfect dog!” Joshua said.</p><p>“Okay man, we’re gonna walk you home,” Lizzie said. “I don’t know if I trust you to be walking home alone.”</p><p>“Oh…” Joshua said. He glanced between his friends and Sunkist. “I… okay.” Now that his friends pointed it out, he realized that it was a little weird. Mr. Coolatta added a little bit of context that made it less weird, but he couldn’t tell his friends about him. They’d freak out even more, which he understood, but really wasn’t necessary. </p><p>Sunkist trotted ahead of the three friends as they made their way back to Joshua’s neighborhood. Joshua kept trying to make conversation, but Joe and Lizzie were strangely quiet. Lizzie kept glancing behind them, although Joshua didn’t know why. He had gotten so used to the feeling of being watched that he didn’t think about it being weird to anyone else. Besides, his friends hadn’t mentioned anything about it yet. They finally stopped in front of Sunkist’s house, and she jumped the fence that was definitely much shorter than it had been the first time she’d done that. </p><p>Joshua suddenly felt an immediate sense of urgency.</p><p>“You guys can’t tell my dad about her, okay?” He said.</p><p>“Uh… I think we should,” Joe said. “I mean… you seemed to know a lot of stuff about her that didn’t make sense, and-”</p><p>“No, you can’t tell him,” Joshua said, interrupting his friend. “He’ll flip his lid. I don’t wanna freak him out or anything.”</p><p>“Josh, this might be a safety thing…” Lizzie said. “Is there something you aren’t telling us?”</p><p>“No! I’m being totally transparent with you guys,” Joshua replied. All thoughts of the fact he hadn’t told them about Mr. Coolatta vanished as soon as they came. “I just know her, okay? And you can’t tell my dad that. I don’t want him to get worse again.” It was as good an excuse as any.</p><p>Lizzie bit her lip, but she nodded. “Okay,” she said, “we won’t tell him.” Joe nodded. “But if you keep acting weird, we’re gonna at least tell him something is up, even if it isn’t about Sunkist.”</p><p>“Okay,” Joshua said. The adrenaline that he really shouldn’t have felt from such a simple situation faded away. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Joe mumbled.</p><p>Joshua’s dad was a little surprised to see his friends at the door, but he seemed happy about it. He even invited them inside, but they politely declined, saying they had to get home themselves. Joe pointed out that Joshua’s dad had opened the door on his own, and it made both of the Freemans swell with pride. Joshua waved to his friends as they walked off.</p><p>Lizzie waved back, before she turned to Joe. “So… when are we gonna call his dad?” She asked.</p><p>“We can’t,” Joe replied. “He doesn’t answer the phone unless it’s Joshua calling him.”</p><p>“We could swipe his phone for a little bit at school,” Lizzie suggested.</p><p>“I do not… think that would be… wise.” Lizzie and Joe both jumped and turned around quickly. A tall man in a suit was standing behind them where he definitely hadn’t been a moment ago. Sunkist was sitting at his feet, looking even more eerie than before. “I think that it is in… everyone’s best interest if you do not mention this… to Mr. Freeman.”</p><p>“Who are you?” Joe asked. </p><p>“That information is on a… need to know basis,” the man said, “and you two… do not need to know.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Did you guys have fun today?” Joshua’s dad asked from where he was standing by the stove.</p><p>Joshua couldn’t stop grinning from where he was sitting at the table. His dad could only make simple meals that didn’t require a lot of work on the stovetop, but he could use it now. Faintly, Joshua wondered if he shouldn’t be this proud, but he figured that if he had done this sort of stuff his dad would have been proud of him too. Sure, his dad wasn’t a kid, but it was still progress. “Yeah!” He said. He opened his mouth to tell his dad about Sunkist, just to let him know that she was safe, but something else came out. “Joe let me try some of his Dr. Pepper.” He snapped his mouth shut, both worried about what his dad would say to that, and concerned about the fact that he couldn’t seem to say anything about Sunkist.</p><p>“Oh…” his dad said. Joshua winced, waiting for a freak out, but his dad just laughed. It sounded… slightly hysterical, but it wasn’t an angry or worried response. “You’ve really never had soda, huh?” He said between chuckles.</p><p>Joshua laughed awkwardly. “Uh… no, I haven’t,” he said. “I didn’t like the carbonation…”</p><p>“You get used to it,” his dad said. “I mean… I’m probably not used to it anymore, but… you know…” he trailed off, and Joshua felt burning shame in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>Over the course of dinner, Joshua kept trying to bring up Sunkist to his dad, but he was never able to. Something else would always come out of his mouth, and no matter how off topic it was, his dad would roll with it. After a while, Joshua gave up on saying anything and just listened to his dad. He was talking about how he went to a small local market, and Joshua gave him a small congratulations, before he turned back to his grilled cheese. How long had they been sitting here eating? It shouldn’t have taken this long to eat a grilled cheese and a bowl of soup. He glanced at the clock on the oven, and realized they’d been here for almost an hour and a half. </p><p>“I… I’ve got some homework I’ve gotta do, Dad,” he said, accidentally interrupting something his dad was saying.</p><p>“Oh… okay!” His dad said. “Well, come back down here when you’re done, alright? I wanna spend some time with you!”</p><p>Joshua smiled weakly and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be down later,” he said. He tried not to rush up to his room, but he was racing through the upstairs hallway when he reached it. He managed to not slam his door closed, but he felt like he was panicking enough to do so. </p><p>How had that happened? How was time changing around him like that? His friends had seemed freaked out about Sunkist, was there something wrong with her too? Was reality changing around him? Had she been that big the first time he pet her? How had she jumped such a high fence the first time? How had the house gotten so close to the corner of that alley? There… there didn’t used to be an alley there… </p><p>Joshua felt like he was going to throw up, but he managed to swallow and keep it down. Mr. Coolatta would have the answers. He had to be the one doing this. Joshua had known that he wasn’t just a dream for a good while now, but it hadn’t seemed very important until right now. Was that his doing too? Joshua had to know, but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with his thoughts racing like this. For a moment, he wondered if Mr. Coolatta would be there if he knocked himself out instead of falling asleep, but he didn’t entertain that thought for any longer than a second. He wanted answers, but not that badly.</p><p>He finally just laid down in bed and closed his eyes. He tried to breathe evenly and deeply, but he felt like he couldn’t. He suddenly felt someone standing next to his bed, and a quiet voice whispered, “Let me help you.”</p><p>Next thing he knew, he was waking up in the void. Mr. Coolatta was already standing in front of him, and Sunkist was sitting at his feet. “Hello… Joshua,” he said.</p><p>“What the fuck have you been doing to me?” Joshua demanded. </p><p>Mr. Coolatta shook his head. “I would… chide you about your language, but… I believe that is a job for your father.” Sunkist carefully approached Joshua, and although he didn’t trust her, he didn’t feel afraid. “Please, take a moment to collect yourself. Sunkist will… she will help. She is quite good at… at that.”</p><p>Joshua carefully sat down and let Sunkist lay in his lap. Mr. Coolatta just stood in front of them and watched as Joshua stroked her fur. “What have you been doing to me?” Joshua asked again. This time his voice was much quieter, and he realized that he was on the verge of tears. </p><p>“I’m terribly sorry that… that you’ve become involved in all of… this,” Mr. Coolatta said. “I guarantee you, Joshua, that… if I could, I would not… involve you in this at all.” Joshua didn’t say anything, he just kept petting Sunkist. “In fact, I… originally tried to get to the… source of the problem.” Mr. Coolatta turned to look at some of the white streaks that flew by in the void. “Unfortunately your… your father is… is more than willing to do what it takes to… keep me out.”</p><p>Joshua watched as where Mr. Coolatta was looking turned into a large screen. The screen showed his dad’s room from an angle, like he was watching a security camera that was mounted on the wall opposite his dad’s bed near the ceiling. Joshua watched as his dad jerked awake, seemingly from a nightmare. The scene started to move faster, like Mr. Coolatta had pressed the fast forward button. Joshua watched as his dad sat up for the rest of the night, then as the day passed with little movement from his dad, then another night where he didn’t sleep, another day, another night, until, finally, his dad collapsed into his bed from exhaustion. The screen faded away and Joshua turned to Mr. Coolatta. “What did you do to him?” Joshua demanded, his voice angry.</p><p>“The same thing that I have been… doing with you,” Mr. Coolatta replied. “Not as… directly, I’m afraid. He would wake up in fear just from… being here. I have altered the space to make it more accommodating, but… well, I don’t think that’s as much of an issue with… you. After all, you had… no reason to fear me.”</p><p>“Why are you doing this?” Joshua yelled. He shoved at Sunkist, and she stood and went to sit beside Mr. Coolatta again. “What did we do to you?”</p><p>“You did… nothing, Joshua,” Mr. Coolatta said. “Your father, on the other hand…” he trailed off, looking off into the void again. </p><p>“What the hell did he do?” Joshua shouted.</p><p>Mr. Coolatta’s head snapped to him again, and it was faster than Joshua had ever seen him move. “Would you like to see?” He asked.</p><p>“I…” Joshua swallowed. There was something behind Mr. Coolatta’s voice, something that made Joshua afraid. Still, he wanted to know what his dad, who never left the house until a month ago, could have done to this supernatural being. “Yeah. Show me.”</p><p>Joshua barely had time to blink before he was standing in a break room in… some sort of building. He couldn’t tell a whole lot about it, just that the walls were a boring offwhite color, and that parts of the ceiling had collapsed. “I don’t think that’s OSHA compliant…” he muttered to himself. </p><p>“It certainly isn’t,” Mr. Coolatta said from behind Joshua. He chuckled quietly, but it sounded sad. “This isn’t… exactly a memory, I’m afraid. This is simply… a room that I once existed in.” He held a hand out to Joshua. “Would you like to see what… what happened?”</p><p>Joshua hesitated. He still hadn’t touched Mr. Coolatta at all since they’d met. “Can I do that without taking your hand?” He asked.</p><p>“Certainly,” Mr. Coolatta replied. “But I must warn you… this will probably feel… a bit strange.” </p><p>Joshua barely had time to nod, before the two of them were standing on a catwalk, overlooking a hallway. There were five people standing in the hallway, three of them in lab coats, one of them dressed as a security guard and the other was… “Dad?” Joshua asked.</p><p>“I told you that I would… show you what your father did to me…” Mr. Coolatta replied.</p><p>Joshua watched as all four men aside from his dad pulled out passports and showed them to his dad. He realized that he couldn’t hear them as his dad inspected the passports. That took a backseat to what he did realize. “Where’s my dad’s hand?!?” He asked, trying not to shout.</p><p>“I’m afraid that he… is currently without it,” Mr. Coolatta replied.</p><p>“I can see that!” Joshua shouted. “Where is it?”</p><p>“I imagine it is… back in the trash compactor,” Mr. Coolatta replied unhelpfully.</p><p>“What does that even mean?” Joshua asked.</p><p>“I will admit, Joshua, that your… father went through things while he was here,” Mr. Coolatta said. “However, he… I cannot forgive him for what he…” He trailed off and looked down at the scene in front of them. </p><p>Joshua looked back too, and paid more attention to the people around his dad. The security guard was smirking smugly, while the three scientists seemed to just be blank while presenting their passports. Two of the scientists were old, but the third one… “He looks like you,” Joshua said. Mr. Coolatta hummed, but he didn’t say anything. “I… okay, I get it, my dad is in some weird rundown hallway with three scientists, a security guard, and a bunch of passports, while he’s missing a hand. What does that have to do with anything that he ‘did’ to you?”</p><p>“We will have to… jump ahead,” Mr. Coolatta said. </p><p>Joshua didn’t get a chance to reply before they were standing in… the void. But this time, they were looking down on a large room. Joshua’s dad, the scientists, and the security guard were standing down there, while another scientist was talking. Suddenly, the world around them shifted, and there was a tall man in a suit standing in the middle of the room. Everyone but the man and Joshua’s dad froze, and Joshua watched as the two of them spoke, still unable to hear them. He realized that they were farther than he originally thought, and he had to strain his eyes to see it all, and he couldn’t see it clearly at all. However, being farther away made him realize what he was looking at. “This is… this is the map of a video game,” Joshua said quietly.</p><p>“Correct,” Mr. Coolatta said. “Your father was the… player, while myself and my… associates were nothing more than… characters in his world.”</p><p>Joshua stared down at the large room, and watched the man in the suit and his dad talk. He could only assume that the man in the suit was Mr. Coolatta, but he hadn’t been there in the other “memory” they had looked at. “Where were you before?” He asked.</p><p>For a long time, there was no answer, so Joshua turned to look at Mr. Coolatta. He was biting his lip, and looking apprehensive for the first time that Joshua had seen. “I am always… watching,” he finally said. “I can… see anything that happens at any time at any… place on the map. Not unlike how I can come… to you in your dreams.”</p><p>Joshua nodded. He watched as his dad and his little party went through the door the random scientist had opened, the man that Joshua could only assume was Mr. Coolatta having disappeared. “Are we going to see any more?” He asked.</p><p>“Just… just one more,” Mr. Coolatta replied. “This will be… quite a jump ahead, I am afraid, so… I must give you a… ‘spoiler warning’.” </p><p>Joshua nodded, and closed his eyes for longer this time. When he opened them, he was standing in the middle of a Chuck E. Cheese. Or, rather, a crude video game map version of one. There were many scientists around, but the ones from before we all sitting around a table, as well as Mr. Coolatta. Sunkist was sitting next to the scientist that looked like Mr. Coolatta, and Joshua did a double take when he realized that she was a flat image. His dad was sitting at the head of the table with both of his hands, and there was a skeleton standing behind him. Joshua noticed that the security guard was missing, but he assumed that that had something to do with the parts they had skipped. “What is this place?” He asked.</p><p>“The family entertainment center, Chuck E. Cheese,” Mr. Coolatta replied. Joshua decided to keep his mouth shut about how it wasn’t a “family entertainment center”. “We were… celebrating a birthday. It seemed… only natural to come here.”</p><p>“Okay…” Joshua said. “Look, I’m really not seeing what my dad ‘did’ to you, exactly, so-” Joshua cut himself off as his dad suddenly disappeared from the table. The rest of the party goers froze for a moment, before the shorter scientist with the mustache yanked the taller one up onto the table. He was yelling something, but Joshua still couldn’t hear it. Mr. Coolatta jumped up as well and raced down one of the hallways. The scientist that looked like him ran after him, and Sunkist followed him, leaving the two old scientists behind. “What is…” Joshua trailed off as he realized the edges of the map were turning into binary.</p><p>“-to tell you!” Joshua blinked and turned back to the scientists. The one with the mustache was speaking, and Joshua could finally hear him. “We’re nothing but video game characters! And now that Gordon is gone, we’re going to-”</p><p>“Bullshit!” The other scientist yelled. “Like hell I’m going to be taken down that easily! There’s got to be somewhere we can go, Harold!”</p><p>The shorter scientist, Harold, shook his head and held the other scientist close. The binary was beginning to spread to the floor under them. “I’m afraid there isn’t anything we can do, my dear Bubby,” he said. “I gave Mr. Coolatta an audio file to send to Gordon, but I am… unsure if it will reach him. And even if it does…” He trailed off, clearly afraid.</p><p>The other scientist, Bubby, looked around the room as the binary began to climb up the legs of the table and spread across the edges of the tablecloth. “D-don’t say shit like that, Harold,” he said. “We’re going to go home to your shitty apartment and we’re going to-”</p><p>“It isn’t real,” Harold said. “We aren’t real. None of this is real.” He reached up to hold Bubby’s face gently as the binary reached their feet. “I love you,” he said.</p><p>“I… I love you too,” Bubby said. The two of them held each other tightly as the binary quickly overtook them, leaving everything in the room to become formless code.</p><p>Joshua blinked, and he was standing in another room that was slowly becoming binary as well. Mr. Coolatta was holding a manila folder, and was feeding it through some device that looked something like a shredder. The folder did not shred, simply disappeared as it was fed into the machine. The other scientist quickly raced into the room, Sunkist at his heels. She was already fading into code. “D-Dad, what’s going on?” The scientist asked, panicking.</p><p>“Tommy, I need you to listen to me,” Mr. Coolatta said. “Our world is all fake. Mr. Freeman was the only thing linking us to anything close to existence, and with him gone, we will all fade away.” He took the scientist, Tommy’s, hands and held them tightly. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.” Joshua noticed that his voice didn’t waver. Sunkist let out a final bark, before she became formless code as well. Tommy looked back in panic, but Mr. Coolatta cupped his cheek and made him look him in the eyes. “I want you to remember that, no matter what, I love you. Will you remember that, Tommy? Promise me.”</p><p>“I-I will,” Tommy choked out between tears.</p><p>“Repeat it to me,” Mr. Coolatta said, desperation bleeding into his voice.</p><p>“You l-love me,” Tommy said. “And you always will.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Mr. Coolatta said. He kissed Tommy’s forehead gently and squeezed his hand. “Which is why I’m going to-”</p><p>There was a loud snapping noise, and Joshua was standing in his normal view of the void again. He looked around quickly, and felt like he understood it a lot better now. The white flashes that went by him where bits of code, things moving so fast that you’d never know what they were unless you had seen what Mr. Coolatta had just shown him. He turned and found Mr. Coolatta standing a ways off, Sunkist sitting by him. “That… that was…” Joshua tried to say something, but he couldn’t figure out what to say.</p><p>“When your father shut… off that game, we were all… thrust into darkness,” Mr. Coolatta said. “All of us but… me.” He turned to look at Joshua, and tears were streaming down his cheeks. Even they were made of code. “I have always been a… bit above the code. Perhaps I am a piece of… an easter egg that the game developers… left in. I will never know.” He turned to Joshua fully, and he realized that Mr. Coolatta’s hands were code too. How had he never seen that before? “Despite being nothing… but code, and the game being shut… down, my associates are still conscious. And they are… always screaming.”</p><p>Joshua slammed his hands over his ears as he finally heard it. Screaming coming from all angles of the void, echoing off of each other and off of invisible walls. Screams for help from all the voices Joshua had just heard, and more. He heard Harold and Bubby screaming for each other, he heard three voices he didn’t recognize calling out for names he didn’t recognize, and he heard another voice just on the edge calling a name he couldn’t quite place.</p><p>“This is what I have dealt with for thirteen years!” Mr. Coolatta screamed over the voices, making sure that Joshua could hear him. “I have heard the screams of my friends, of my family, of the people I love, for thirteen years while I could only search through code that I did not understand!” Joshua was in so much pain from the volume of the voices and what they were screaming that he didn’t realize that Mr. Coolatta’s voice had changed. “Your father did this to me, to all of us! And I could never reach him, so, I’m sorry, Joshua, but it had to be you!”</p><p>“Stop!” Joshua screamed, only just then realizing that he was crying. “Make it stop! I’m sorry! I’ll talk to my dad! I’ll try to make it better! I’m sorry!”</p><p>“You don’t need to worry about that anymore, Joshua!” Mr. Coolatta yelled. “I’ll be speaking with him myself soon!” </p><p>Joshua screamed as the voices reached a peak, and heard one last name being shouted before he woke up. It was Mr. Coolatta’s voice, but it was from so far away that Joshua could only explain it as an echo for a past scream of his. His voice cracked and choked as he screamed for his son.</p><p>Joshua jerked upright in his bed, and threw his covers off. He raced down the stairs and into the living room. His dad was sitting on the couch, watching TV. He turned to look at Joshua, who was still crying and panting, and he jumped. “Joshua?” He said cautiously. “What happened? Are you okay?” He held the remote out to the TV to mute it, but it seemed to only levitate in extension to his arm. Because, where Joshua’s dad’s hand should have been, was nothing. All that was left was a bleeding stump.</p><p>Joshua screamed and raced out of the house as fast as he could. He could barely see through his tears, and the streets were dark, which didn’t help. He had to escape, he had to get away, he couldn’t be here. Whatever Mr. Coolatta was doing was inside his head, and if he could get away, he wouldn’t be able to hurt his dad. He heard his dad yelling his name from a distance, before there was a bright light in his face. Joshua had just enough time to realize that they were headlights, and he duck and rolled out of the street. His right arm hit the curb strangely, and he screamed in pain. He sobbed loudly as his dad held him, and the man who had been in the car called for an ambulance. His dad looked terrified, and Joshua knew that he must look the same. </p><p>He was just grateful that, when he passed out, there was no dog or man in a suit waiting for him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THE BIG PLOT IS SLOWLY UNRAVELING!!!</p><p>GOD, I was so excited for this chapter!!!! I definitely wanna say before it starts, though, that there are parts of this where Joshua isn't in control of his own words. I won't elaborate on that too much cuz of spoilers, but it's important to note. I have... absolutely NO idea how to tag what it is, but if anyone has a clue, PLEASE let me know! As someone who has been through some shit mentally, I know how upsetting stuff like this can be to read. I just want to let you all know in advance, and I'm sorry if this warning isn't enough. Don't be afraid to drop a comment to let me know. I want people to be comfortable above all else.</p><p>I hope you're able to enjoy this chapter though! We're really in the thick of it now, folks!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua blinked his eyes open, and registered the fact that he wasn’t lying in his own bed. He was sitting up, and the door in front of him was gray with a handle instead of a door knob. A quick glance around the room told him that he was in a hospital. Or… probably. Joshua had never been in the hospital before, so he’d only seen them on TV, and only once or twice. He looked himself over, and saw that his right arm was in a cast and a sling. He racked his brain, and tried to remember how this could have happened. Did he fall off his skateboard?</p><p>Oh. Right.</p><p>Joshua looked over the whole room again, just to make sure that there wasn’t anything weird here. It looked about as normal as could be. No men in suits, no large golden retrievers, no code whizzing past him. Seemingly a normal hospital, as far as he could tell. He took a few deep breaths, just trying to calm down.</p><p>“Mr. Freeman?”</p><p>Joshua almost screamed as he jerked his head towards the door. He was ready to go into a full panic, but it wasn’t Mr. Coolatta, just a nurse who had come to check on him. She asked him a series of questions, and he did his best to answer them. She asked about his mental health, and he lied, saying that he hadn’t been seeing anything strange or off lately. How could he explain to this nurse that a man from a video game was hunting his dad down, and had tried to use him as some sort of messed up puppet? It didn’t occur to him until after she left that maybe he should have told her. After all, just because he believed it was true didn’t mean that it was. Maybe this was all fake. Maybe he’d go back to his normal life after this, and everything would be fine!</p><p>He paused for a moment after he had the thought, and shook his head. No. He wasn’t the one thinking that. Mr. Coolatta was putting the thought in his head. Now that he knew what he was doing, he could tell the difference. The thoughts that were put into his head echoed slightly. He didn’t want to think too hard about why Mr. Coolatta might be trying to convince him that it was all fake when he had been so adamant about it all being real before tonight. Maybe a manipulation tactic? He didn’t have any time to even consider that before the nurse returned.</p><p>“You dad would like to see you,” she said. She looked almost apprehensive, like she wasn’t sure if she should let him in.</p><p>“Please,” Joshua croaked out, suddenly feeling on the verge of tears. The nurse startled, but she hid it a moment later and nodded. Joshua gripped the sheets of the bed with his uninjured hand as he heard his dad’s voice outside. The door opened, and his dad stepped in, his face and eyes red from tears.</p><p>“Josh…” He whispered. Joshua just held his free arm out, asking for a hug he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to have. His dad rushed to him and hugged him anyway, and it didn’t hurt, so it must have been fine. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Joshie.”</p><p>“W-why?” Joshua asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He sniffed loudly and buried his face in his dad’s shoulder. </p><p>“I know, I’m just… I’m so sorry that it had to happen at all,” his dad said. He kissed Joshua’s temple, as Joshua began to shake with sobs. “It’s okay, Josh, it’s all gonna be okay.” His dad’s voice wavered, and Joshua knew he was crying too, but right now he didn’t care. He just wanted to hold his dad for a while.</p><p>Finally, his dad let go of him and stood up again. “Do… do you wanna talk about what happened?” He asked.</p><p>“Huh?” Joshua said. </p><p>“You ran out of the house like it was on fire,” his dad explained. “You raced down the stairs, saw me on the couch, screamed, and ran into the street. You almost got hit by a car.” His dad looked ready to start crying again. Or maybe just keep crying, Joshua wasn’t actually sure if he’d stopped.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Dad,” Joshua whispered. “I didn’t mean… I just…” He sobbed again. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Joshua, my fucked head is the last of our worries right now.” Joshua looked up at his dad in surprise. He never swore, at least not when Joshua was around. “Look, I…” He sighed and sat on the bed next to Joshua. “I know that I haven’t, exactly, been the best dad. And I’ve been hiding behind this excuse of… of being afraid of everything. And I’m not saying that I’m not, I’d never lie to you, you know that.” Joshua nodded, trying not to think about all the things that had been in his dreams. “I’m just… I’ve gotta step up to the plate and be a better dad. And that means I’ve gotta look out for you, no matter how scary it is. So… don’t worry about me right now. I’ll pull through. It’s the least I can do to make it all up to you.”</p><p>Joshua sobbed again and leaned against his dad. His dad shushed him comfortingly and pet his hair gently. “I love you,” Joshua choked out between sobs. “I love you so much. I’m sorry.”</p><p>After another five minutes of crying and an additional half hour of talking to doctors and receptionists, the Freemans were in the car on the way home. Joshua’s dad was actually going the speed limit on one of the faster roads, although it was the only way for them to get home, so he didn’t exactly have a choice. Still, he wasn’t constantly checking the mirrors as if something would be following them. He still checked more than he should have, but not nearly as much as he used to. Joshua watched his dad for the majority of the drive home, but he quickly turned to look out the window to see if Sunkist was in the yard. She wasn’t.</p><p>“Hey, Dad?” Joshua asked. His dad hummed instead of replying. “Do you remember that golden retriever that was hanging out at the abandoned house?”</p><p>“Well, yeah,” his dad said. He tapped his fingers against the wheel, a nervous tic of his. “Did you ever figure out if it was okay?”</p><p>“Um…” Joshua mumbled, “yeah, I think she is…” He swallowed. He had to bring this all up with his dad, there was no avoiding it. If it was real, and his dad had somehow fucked up some peoples’ lives through a video game, they could try and troubleshoot it. But, much more likely, it was fake and his dad would help him get the medical attention he needed. He’d wait until they got home, he didn’t want his dad to freak out and crash the car. He was snapped out of his thoughts by someone tapping on the glass of the car window. His dad was standing outside, smiling at him. He smiled back sheepishly, before opening the door and following his dad into the house. </p><p>His dad toed his shoes off and went to collapse on the couch. He let out a breathy laugh that was filled with anxiety. “Oh. Wow,” he said, “I haven’t had that much face to face interaction since I went to your PTA meeting that one time.” Joshua normally would have laughed at that memory (his dad making an entire powerpoint case about installing new playground equipment was embarrassing at the time, but hilarious now), he couldn’t bring himself to find any joy in the situation. “Josh?” His dad asked. Joshua heard him, but his voice didn’t fully register. He was too busy figuring out how to tell his dad about everything. “Joshua? Are you okay?” </p><p>Joshua jumped and looked up at his dad when he set a hand on his shoulder. “O-oh! Um…!”</p><p>“You can tell me if something is wrong, Joshua,” his dad said. “I… I might not be the most helpful, but I’ll do my best.”</p><p>Joshua reached up with his uninjured hand to take his dad’s. “I have to tell you something,” he said. His dad raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as Joshua guided him into the kitchen. They sat at opposite ends of the table, and Joshua’s dad looked at him imploringly, but not pressuring. Joshua took a deep breath and opened his mouth. “I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing, but-” He slammed his mouth shut and covered it with his free hand. He hadn’t meant to say that. That’s not what he had been trying to say at all. </p><p>“Joshua?” His dad said cautiously.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Dad, it isn’t really-” Joshua slammed his mouth shut again, this time so hard that his teeth clicked painfully.</p><p>“Joshua, what’s going on?” His dad asked, obviously worried now.</p><p>
  <b>Let me do this, Joshua, please.</b>
</p><p>“Dad, I promise that this isn’t-” Joshua covered his mouth again and screamed into his hand. “Get out of my head!” He yelled, breaking free from whatever Mr. Coolatta was trying to get him to say or do.</p><p>
  <b>Please, Joshua! I can make this better! I won’t mess up so badly again!</b>
</p><p>“Shut up!” Joshua screamed. He raised his free hand to try and slam it into his head and do… <i>something, anything!</i></p><p>But it didn’t connect, and when he opened his eyes, his dad was holding his hand gently but firmly. He was crying again, but he squeezed Joshua’s hand gently and knelt beside him. “What’s going on, Joshie?” He asked. “You can tell me. I’ll never judge you, and I won’t let anything hurt you.”</p><p>Joshua squeezed his dad’s hand back. “I’ve been seeing things,” he said, finally unencumbered by Mr. Coolatta. “M-mostly when I dream. That’s why I raced downstairs earlier, I woke up from one of the dreams and I was panicking really bad.” His dad squeezed his hand tightly, and Joshua squeezed back. It seemed that Mr. Coolatta was really gone, which was making Joshua more on edge than actually comforting him. “I saw… when I came downstairs and saw you… you were missing your right hand, and…” Joshua sobbed quietly, and missed how his dad tensed up, mistaking the squeezing of his hand as an attempt at comfort. </p><p>“W-what else, Josh?” His dad asked. “What do you dream about?”</p><p>“I’ve been…” Joshua sniffed loudly. He wished he could wipe away his tears, but he didn’t want to let his dad’s hand go. “I’ve been waking up in… in a dark void. There’s… there’s white flashes going by, and I realized recently, that… that they’re code.” Joshua definitely felt his dad’s hand shaking, but he didn’t realize that his dad was shaking all over. “The dog from down the street is there sometimes. Her name is… it’s Sunkist. But… but she’s only there sometimes, and…” Joshua trailed off. Had he ever seen Sunkist there? He couldn’t remember. He just knew that sometimes she was. “I know things about her, that… that I’m not supposed to know. No one told me her name, I just knew it, and… and she’s super tall, and I think she might be supernatural, and-”</p><p>“What else, Josh?” His dad asked. Joshua blinked away his tears, and realized that his dad looked as frantic as his voice sounded. “What else have you been dreaming about?”</p><p>“There’s… there’s a tall man,” Joshua said, “and he’s always wearing a suit, and-”</p><p>“What’s his name?” His dad asked, completely frantic now. He was starting to scare Joshua. “Joshua, did you tell you his name? What’s his name?”</p><p>“Dad, you’re-”</p><p>“Just tell me his name!” His dad shouted.</p><p>Joshua choked on a sob for a second, unable to speak. “He told me to call him ‘Mr. Coolatta’, and he said that you did something to him and his friends, and I heard them screaming, Dad, they were all screaming, they were-” Joshua shut his mouth again. He hadn’t meant for anything besides Mr. Coolatta’s name to come out. </p><p>His dad let go of his hand and ran for the stairs. Joshua hopped up and followed him, too scared and crying too hard to call after him. He stood in the open doorway to his dad’s room and watched as his dad began throwing books off of his bookshelves. “Where is it, where the fuck is it?” He said angrily, clearly talking to himself. “Where the fuck did I put it?!?”</p><p>“Put what?” Joshua asked, his voice coming back to him. </p><p>“That damn game, where the fuck is the game?!?” His dad shouted. </p><p>Joshua swallowed thickly. Mr. Coolatta wasn’t lying. His dad had shut down some game, and it had hurt Mr. Coolatta and all of his family. Joshua felt sorry for them. He’d heard them screaming desperately for each other, doing anything they could to find each other, and he could tell that Mr. Coolatta was in distress. Their last encounter had made that obvious. </p><p>But he’d hurt Joshua. And he’d hurt his dad.</p><p>And Joshua wasn’t about to let that go.</p><p>“I’ll help you look,” he said. He crouched down and glanced under his dad’s bed. “I can’t pull them out cuz of my arm, but there’s bins under here.” His dad stepped over beside him and crouched as well. He pulled out the bins and began frantically searching through them. It was a bunch of other video game disks, and Joshua faintly wondered why his dad had so many. Obviously this game had messed his dad up, so much so that he didn’t play games anymore, no matter how friendly or pretty they were.</p><p>He turned away from his dad to look over the bookshelves that his dad had ripped apart. Books were scattered all over the floor, and a few still clung to the shelves, almost like they were begging for some sort of normalcy. Joshua could definitely understand the sentiment. There was one book, though, eye level for him, so just a shelf beneath where his dad would have been looking, that didn’t seem disturbed at all. It should have been, sitting just right of the middle of the shelf, all the books that used to be beside it strewn all over the ground. Joshua reached out and carefully removed the book.</p><p>He waited for Mr. Coolatta’s voice, or some sort of sign from him, but nothing happened. Whatever Mr. Coolatta was planning now, it didn’t involve Joshua. He glanced warily at his dad, waiting for him to do or say something supernatural or terrifying, but nothing happened. He just finished going through the second bin and pulled the last one over. He looked near tears. Joshua opened the book he was holding, and, wedged in the middle like some sort of messed up bookmark, was a DVD case for the game Half Life 1. Joshua noticed the little starburst around the words “Now Featuring Advanced AI!” on the cover, and he knew he had the game.</p><p>“Dad,” he said hoarsely.</p><p>His dad stood and turned to him. He looked at the case in Joshua’s hand and held his own hand out. “Give it to me,” he said, desperately. “I’ve gotta destroy it. I was stupid to think it wouldn’t come back to hurt me.” He sobbed quietly. “I’m so sorry I ever let it hurt you, Joshua. Let me destroy it. We can go back to normal after that, I promise.”</p><p>Joshua hesitated, but only for a moment, before he passed the case over to his dad. The case only brushed against his dad’s fingertips before there was a loud bark, and a burst of green light that knocked the case from both of their grasps.</p><p>“I-I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” a familiar voice said from the doorway. Both Joshua and his dad turned to see who it belonged to, although they both knew.</p><p>Mr. Coolatta was standing in the doorway, Sunkist sitting at his side. He looked just like he always had when Joshua saw him. Tall, bright yellow eyes, a white suit with golden accents around the collar, and messy hair. Joshua had thought he looked different from the version of him that was in his own memories, but he’d been too far away then to see him, and had only assumed that he wore a different suit now to be seen easier in the void.</p><p>His dad’s shocked expression seemed to say otherwise.</p><p>“W-were you maybe expecting my… to see my dad, Mr. Freeman?” Mr. Coolatta asked. He was grinning, showing his emotions on his sleeve, completely unlike how Joshua had ever seen him before. </p><p>His dad stared at Mr. Coolatta for another moment, before a single word left his mouth, just barely more than a breath.</p><p>“Tommy?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one isn't as long, sorry about that! As much as I would like to dwell on every little detail about the events of this chapter, that would get pretty sad and kinda boring after a while... I don't think there's any specific warnings for this chapter, I just hope you enjoy!!!f</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy Coolatta was always a little bit strange.</p>
<p>At first, it was because he couldn’t stop himself from talking about certain things, because he couldn’t sit still, because he didn’t make friends easily, and because he didn’t like to be touched. Then, after he was adopted at the age of six, it was because his dad taught him how to do certain things that other people couldn’t do. He’d practiced slipping in and out of existence, and freezing time. He never quite got the hang of either of them, but his father was proud of him either way. Even if he could only pause time for a few seconds, his father would smile at him and congratulate him.</p>
<p>His intelligence was all his own though. Sure, he was homeschooled, so he started learning from his dad, but he took off running from there. Harvard was a breeze, and he had doctorates in zoology, microbiology, and ecology in only six years. His dad didn’t have to pull any strings to get him into Black Mesa, and he was even allowed to work on his own projects, with approval, of course. </p>
<p>Several years passed after that, all of them full of various scientific breakthroughs attested to a Dr. Coolatta, although he didn’t like to make a big show of it. If anyone asked, he’d wave his hand and say that they should have credited the entire department. Although Sunkist was his, and she always would be. No one else got to lay claim to her creation. They didn’t deserve to. Tommy had done almost all of the work himself, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. She  took approximately three years to make, but she was the perfect dog in every way, so that was to be expected. She’d stuck by his side ever since.</p>
<p>Tommy visited his dad at least once a week, just to catch up and talk. Unfortunately, there were a few months in a row where his dad had to cancel, sighting work. Tommy was a bit surprised that he wasn’t allowed to know what his dad was doing. After all, his employers adored Tommy, and bent the rules for him fairly often. But then the resonance cascade hit, and Tommy understood it all.</p>
<p>The weekend that followed was hell. Tommy didn’t like killing everything he came across, and he especially didn’t like that he was so good at it. He sometimes wondered if it had anything to do with his dad watching out for him, but he never felt the familiar and comforting presence of his dad’s watchful eyes. He was aware that his dad met with Mr. Freeman a few times while they were traveling, but he knew that he wasn’t supposed to interrupt, so he didn’t move. He felt sick when Benrey did. The two of them had been friends after all. Not close, not much more than workplace pals, but it still hurt to have to shoot at him until he was taken out. Tommy didn’t like to say that Benrey had died. </p>
<p>His birthday party was fun, but he felt like something was off the whole time. Maybe it was because his dad was continuing to check his watch like he was waiting for something, or that Dr. Coomer had come back from the bathroom at one point and handed Tommy’s dad a manila folder. Tommy suspected that it was most related to the fact that Mr. Freeman was acting cagey the entire time.</p>
<p>He got his answer when Mr. Freeman disappeared, and the world began to unravel. Dr. Coomer jumped onto the table they were sitting at, pulling Bubby up with him. Tommy wished that he had been able to stay and help them, but when his dad bolted, he knew that he needed to know what was going on. Sunkist was slightly ahead of him, and she stepped on the places that were already code so he wouldn’t be able to. He made his way into the room just as his dad was finishing with whatever manila folder Dr. Coomer had given him. </p>
<p>“D-Dad, what’s going on?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Tommy, listen to me,” his dad said.  “Our world is all fake. Mr. Freeman was the only thing linking us to anything close to existence, and with him gone, we will all fade away.” He carefully took Tommy’s hands and squeezed them tightly. Tommy’s eyes felt hot, and he knew that he was going to start crying any moment. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sunkist barked from behind the two of them, and Tommy turned just in time to see her disappear into code. He nearly screamed, but his dad cupped his cheek and made him look at him. Eye contact wasn’t hard with his dad, it never had been. “I want you to remember that, no matter what, I love you. Will you remember that, Tommy? Promise me.”</p>
<p>“I-I will,” Tommy said, and he only then realized that he was crying.</p>
<p>“Repeat it to me,” his dad said. Tommy was used to hearing more emotion from him than others, but never like this.</p>
<p>“You l-love me. And you always will.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” his dad said. He kissed Tommy’s forehead and squeezed his hand. “Which is why I’m going to do this. I need you to understand, Tommy, that this will keep you safe. I love you so much, I couldn’t possibly let you disappear.”</p>
<p>“D-Dad, what are you-” Tommy cut himself off as he watched the code that was just barely licking at the bottom of his pants legs travel up his body. It didn’t spread, just traveled upwards until it passed over his hands and onto his dad’s. He gasped loudly as he felt something different rush over him. He felt powerful, like he could bend the world to fit his wants or needs. His dad’s eyes slowly lost their glow as the code began to spread up his arms and towards his neck. “Dad!”</p>
<p>“I love you, Tommy,” his dad said. “Be strong for me. We’ll see each other again soon.” And with that, he pushed Tommy backwards. </p>
<p>Tommy felt the floor open up around him, although he wasn’t sure if that was the code being sliced through by his, apparently, immune body, or a portal that he had opened subconsciously. He fell for a very long time, although he couldn’t be sure exactly how long. He watched as the dark void around him became a mess of code swirling around him, and he saw pieces that he thought might be shaped like his friends. Eventually, he hit some sort of floor, just barely catching himself with his hands so his head didn’t hit it violently. He lifted his hands quickly in fear when he saw that it, too, was nothing but code. He had been right about his body being immune, since it didn’t spread onto his body.</p>
<p>He sat and cried for a long time. He still wasn’t sure how long, but he was pretty sure that it was even longer than he’d fallen. Just as he was feeling ready to get up and assess his situation, he heard something off in the distance. He strained his ears, trying to figure out if it was real. He heard it again, and he jumped to his feet. He ran towards where he thought it was coming from, tears trailing behind him. He never seemed to get closer, but the voice did become clearer.</p>
<p>“Harold?!?” Tommy had never heard Bubby’s voice like that, not even when he’d been trapped in his tube. “Where are you? You motherfucker, where are you?!?”</p>
<p>“Bubby?” Dr. Coomer’s voice was much quieter, but no less desperate. “Tommy? Can you hear me?”</p>
<p>“i didn’t mean that shit literally!” Benrey’s voice screamed, so loud that he should have been standing right next to Tommy. Maybe he was, all Tommy could see was code. “i said living in a video game would be cool! this is just… scary…” Benrey trailed off, although Tommy knew he was still there.</p>
<p>“Hello?” Tommy turned around quickly, hoping that maybe he could see Darnold since he hadn’t been with the rest of them when it had all gone to hell. “Hello? Is anyone there? What’s happening?”</p>
<p>Their screams got more and more desperate as it became more and more obvious that they couldn’t hear each other. Tommy tried screaming back, he screamed so long and so loud that his voice became hoarse and his throat burned. What scared him most was that he couldn’t hear his dad’s voice. He would run as far from the other voices as he could, searching desperately for his dad’s voice, but coming up with nothing.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, before he decided to curl up on the floor and cry. He couldn’t possibly do anything else. He was tired, he was overwhelmed, and he couldn’t escape his friends’ terrified and desperate screams. </p>
<p>“T-Tommy?” </p>
<p>He jerked his head up, looking around quickly. He still only saw the code all around him, but he could finally hear something new. “Dad?” He whispered, hoping that his dad was different from the others. He was used to his dad being different, after all.</p>
<p>“Tommy, I’m not sure if… if you can hear me, but…” Tommy waited, barely breathing, for his dad to speak again. “You have… what I always had before. You can… you can change the world… around you. Perhaps even the… world outside you too.” </p>
<p>Tommy jumped to his feet and ran until he could hear all of the voices. It was still hell, but he didn’t want to lose track of any of his friends. He swallowed and focused on the palms of his hands like his dad had tried to show him countless times. He felt the world shift around him, but it didn’t have the intended effect. Time didn’t stop, but things did seem to get quieter. Tommy wasn’t sure if there even was time anymore. It seemed he could control the volume of his friends’ voices though. He left them at a dull roar, afraid that if he shut them off completely he would go insane from the quiet, but knowing that he would go insane if he was constantly faced with them too. He felt like he could think for the first time in… he didn’t even know.</p>
<p>And his only thought was about escaping.</p>
<p>He spent an unknown amount of time practicing any possible powers he might have. He could touch the code without breaking or hurting it, and he spent a while digging through it, desperately trying to make sense of even a few lines to no avail. He decided to clear out an area for himself, a place that he could at least try and relax. The “walls” of his new space were still code, but he’d managed to return the floor to the void he had known growing up. He would occasionally turn up the volume of his friends’ voices while working, just to remind himself that he was working towards something. He had to mute them completely for a while the first time he heard his dad scream his name in desperation. But, like the rest of them, it eventually became white noise in the background. He wished he didn’t have to describe his friends’ desperate screams as “white noise”, but if he labelled it anything else, he was almost sure he’d lose his mind.</p>
<p>He was focusing on trying to reach the world outside of the game, when a piece of code that went past him stood out in a bright yellow rather than the rest of the white matter around him. He quickly hopped up and raced to it, looking it over. </p>
<p>Sunkist.chr</p>
<p>Tommy screamed in delight as he held the file close to his chest. It was Sunkist! He’d found Sunkist! He carefully set the file in the middle of his little “room”, but he wasn’t sure what to do from there. Why did he understand Sunkist’s file but none of the others? It crossed his mind that maybe it was because he made her. Maybe she wasn’t meant to be in the game at all. The thought made him swell with pride. Not only had he created life, he had created something within a system he didn’t understand or even knew existed. </p>
<p>For a long time, it was just Tommy and Sunkist’s file. Without a form for her to take, she couldn’t really do much. Or… anything. It took Tommy a long time to figure out what to do about that. He was pacing back and forth when it suddenly came to him, and he snapped his fingers as he had the idea. He jumped when a small, white panel appeared behind him. It appeared to be a screen. He looked it over, before he broke out into a grin. </p>
<p>The login screen for shutterstock.com was right in front of him. The site that he’d gotten a subscription to on his birthday. The site that Sunkist had come from, if Mr. Freeman’s comments about her being flat meant anything. </p>
<p>It didn’t take him long to find her, a simple search of “golden retriever” brought her up right away. He began to flap his hands violently, so much that his whole body shook up and down. He eventually calmed down (as much as he possibly could), and he realized that he wasn’t entirely sure what the next step should be. He had to get Sunkist’s file into the image, right? Maybe it was the other way around? He looked down at the file floating next to his feet and carefully picked it up. “H-here goes nothing,” he muttered. He jammed the code into the small screen, accidentally being very forceful, and crossed his fingers.</p>
<p>There was a long moment of nothing happening, before Sunkist leapt out of the screen and tackled him.</p>
<p>“SUNKIST!!!” Tommy screamed, already hugging her tightly. She stood over him, licking his face excitedly. He laughed loudly, more as a way to cover up his tears than anything else. He hugged her tightly for as long as he could stand to, and then even longer when she laid down on top of him. After a while he couldn’t stand to laugh anymore and he broke down into tears. Sunkist didn’t care, she’d never cared. She just lay on top of him, occasionally whimpering and licking his cheek. He hadn’t cried since he had first been here.</p>
<p>From then on, things weren’t <i>quite</i> so bad. He was still stuck in a timeless void that he could just barely edit to his liking, but Sunkist was there. When the screaming got to be too much, or when he’d been trying to work the powers for so long that he was exhausted, she was there to sit with him. She would bark to try and sooth him, and she would lie on him when he needed the pressure. She was the perfect dog, and being code hadn’t changed that at all.</p>
<p>It could only last so long.</p>
<p>Tommy screamed in anger, and slammed his hand into the wall of code. Sunkist barked in distress, but there was nothing she could do as Tommy threw code around their “room”. He was tired. He was angry. He felt like a failure, a mistake, a mess. How much longer did he have? His friend’s voices kept getting quieter and quieter, no matter how loud he tried to make them. Would he ever be able to do anything? Was he doomed to die here, a failure until the end?</p>
<p>“Be careful!”</p>
<p>Tommy lifted his head. He had fallen to his knees, crying, but he quickly stood and turned. Along the lines of code, there was a large “screen”. Tommy took cautious steps forward, watching it with wide eyes. It looked like the interior of a house, but he’d never been there before. Well, he hadn’t been in many houses, so that wasn’t surprising. But what was surprising was the man who was waving at the front door and calling to whoever was leaving out of it.</p>
<p>Gordon Freeman.</p>
<p>Tommy felt his blood boil, but he forced himself to take deep breaths to watch what was going on.</p>
<p>“Dad, I’ll be fine!” A much younger voice called from the front door. “I’ll see you in a couple hours, okay? I’ll text you when I get there.”</p>
<p>“Alright, Josh,” Mr. Freeman said. “I love you!”</p>
<p>“I love you too!” “Josh” called, before the front door closed. Tommy did faintly remember Mr. Freeman talking about a son, but that felt like so long ago that he hadn’t been sure if he’d made it up or not. </p>
<p>He watched as Mr. Freeman climbed the stairs, and the screen switched to a different view. It seemed to look over the entirety of Mr. Freeman’s bedroom. Tommy noted the single bed, and a small twinge of sadness went through him. He may have been very very angry with Mr. Freeman, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still care about him. Mr. Freeman had gotten them out of Black Mesa after all. Yes, he’d left them all to burn afterwards, but did he really know what had happened to them? Maybe he didn’t understand, maybe he hadn’t known about the fact that they were going to be left to only this after the birthday party. Tommy could hope, at least. He watched as Mr. Freeman sighed and sat in his desk chair. He half expected Mr. Freeman to pull up a video game and start playing. After all, he’d said that he wanted to be a streamer. Tommy still thought it was ridiculous, but maybe he just didn’t know anything.</p>
<p>Mr. Freeman didn’t boot up a video game though. He stared at his laptop for several minutes instead. He went to open it, then drew his hand back. Tommy noted that he had both of them again. Had the real Gordon Freeman even lost a hand? He went to open his laptop several times, and even managed to successfully open it one time, but he slammed it shut again and repeated the cycle again. Eventually, he gave up, and left his room. The view didn’t change, and it slowly faded back to the code that Tommy was so used to seeing now. Sunkist barked at him, and he turned to her.</p>
<p>“D-do you think…” he wondered aloud, “do you think that I need to be emotional to use the powers?” Sunkist barked again. He nodded. It made sense. His dad was more emotional than people seemed to think, and things snapped into high gear with his powers when he was in a particular state. Maybe… just maybe…</p>
<p>Tommy watched Mr. Freeman for another year. He tried to do more, he tried desperately, but he couldn’t seem to get it to work. Not yet, at least. Instead, he watched Mr. Freeman and tried to piece together what had happened in the years that Tommy had missed. He seemed to be very different. Graying around the temples and in his beard, much more tired looking, no matter how much sleep he got, and jumpy. Very jumpy. It made Tommy’s blood boil to see Mr. Freeman so affected by something that wasn’t even real to him. Tommy had spent every moment in Black Mesa waiting for a death that would actually come, and with no comfortable home to return to when he felt like it. And now he was stuck here, while Mr. Freeman got to spend his life free.</p>
<p>The anger helped Tommy to do what he needed to. He was, slowly but surely, expanding his powers. He was able to knock cups off of tables and counters after a month, leading to Mr. Freeman getting plastic cups. He was able to turn the gas burners on making Mr. Freeman even more afraid to use the stove. Maybe it was cruel to toy with him, but Tommy wasn’t sure if he could really affect much more of the environment than that.</p>
<p>He needed to see Mr. Freeman, face to face. He needed to talk to him, to ask for a reason why. Because, as much as Tommy was angry, Mr. Freeman was still his friend. He still cared about him. So did his friends. Every now and then, one of his friends’ voices would call for Mr. Freeman, just as desperate to find him as the rest of the Science Team. Darnold didn’t know what had happened and was holding onto hope that Mr. Freeman could still save them, Bubby cursed his name just as much as he yelled for him to help, Dr. Coomer seemed concerned for his health, and Benrey… Benrey wanted to apologize. Tommy was sure that Benrey thought that he was the only one there, that he was there because he had been the bad guy and he was being punished.</p>
<p>His dad never called for Mr. Freeman. At this point, all he did anymore was cry.</p>
<p>The pain from hearing all of it made something new happen. Mr. Freeman blipped into existence in Tommy and Sunkist’s room. Tommy hopped up and looked at him in awe. Mr. Freeman took one look around, screamed, and disappeared again. Tommy turned to the “screen” that appeared, and watched as Mr. Freeman thrashed awake, screaming and crying. Joshua was in his room a few moments later, helping him calm down and hugging him tightly. Tommy watched as the two of them spoke to each other quietly, before Joshua curled up in the bed with his dad. He was almost falling out, but it still made Tommy smile, albeit sadly.</p>
<p>He missed his dad, but he had the next step to getting him back.</p>
<p>Tommy tried to bring Mr. Freeman into the void during his dreams several more times, but he would always wake up screaming and crying before he even saw Tommy. Tommy wished that they could at least share a few words, but it was looking like he would have such a luxury. </p>
<p>In the meantime, Sunkist had figured out how to hop between worlds. It happened so suddenly that Tommy almost didn’t realize what had happened. One moment, he was looking at her, and the next she was gone. The first time, he had panicked and searched everywhere he possibly could to try and find her. She had reappeared in front of him a little while later, holding a tennis ball in her mouth. She barked to explain herself, before dropping the ball at his feet and racing off. Tommy had laughed, only somewhat hysterically, before he threw the ball. He sometimes wondered how she was able to while he was still stuck here, but she was the perfect dog, and the definition of  “perfect” was adaptable.</p>
<p>Tommy had a new idea on the last night he tried to bring Gordon into the void during a dream. He watched as Joshua held his dad and tried to stop his tears. Tommy’s dad had always said that Tommy was his soft spot, why wouldn’t the same be true for Mr. Freeman with Joshua? Joshua didn’t appear to know anything about the game, since he was always questioning Mr. Freeman about why he was afraid and always getting brushed off. Tommy could work with that. Joshua wouldn’t be afraid of him. He wouldn’t even know who he was. He couldn’t help a sly smile at the thought, and he and Sunkist hatched a plan.</p>
<p>It wasn’t supposed to go like this.</p>
<p>Tommy never meant to have the break down in front of Joshua. He never meant to release that much emotion, effectively removing him from the void and into the real world. He never meant for Joshua to get hurt. He never meant for Mr. Freeman to panic in the way he did. He never meant to face them both at the same time.</p>
<p>But Tommy knew how to roll with the punches.</p>
<p>And he was on a goddamn mission.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did I get the format for Sunkist's file from DDLC??? Maybe. You'll never know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're getting there folks!!! Only a handful of chapters left!!! I've got a lot to say about this chapter, but I'm gonna leave it for the end notes cuz a lot of it is spoilers,,,,, but I hope you enjoy this!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua wasn’t sure what was happening. On so many levels. He’d thought that Tommy was Mr. Coolatta’s son, but he <i>was</i> Tommy? Well, actually, that made a lot of sense. Same last name and all. Sunkist made a bit more sense too, since she had seemed to follow Tommy around more than anyone else. And Joshua hadn’t heard Tommy’s voice screaming in the void, because he had been right there. But he was here? In the real world? Wasn’t he part of a video game? Well, him being in Joshua’s dreams wouldn’t have made sense either. It looked like he was just going to have to go along with whatever was happening. </p>
<p>Especially since his dad immediately stepped in front of him to protect him.</p>
<p>“What the hell have you been doing?” His dad hissed dangerously.</p>
<p>“I-I don’t know if you got Dr. Coomer’s message or not, b-but I’ve been trying to… I’ve been looking for a way to get out,” Tommy said. He was still smiling, but it was strained. “I tried to contact you, Mr. Freeman, but-”</p>
<p>“I don’t give a shit,” Joshua’s dad hissed. “You dragged my son into this. That’s below the belt.”</p>
<p>“I never wanted t-to!” Tommy quickly said. He sounded almost desperate. “And even after I did, I never meant to hurt him!” His gaze turned to Joshua, who felt frozen in fear. “I-I really am sorry, Joshua. I didn’t want to… to get you involved at all. I just-”</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare talk to him!” Joshua’s dad screamed. Tommy winced, but didn’t say anything. “I don’t know how the hell you got here, but you need to get out!”</p>
<p>“I’m n-not sure if I can anymore, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said. “I’m still not… I’m not that great at controlling it all yet. M-my dad gave me his powers, but I’ve never used them before, so-”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to hear it!” Joshua’s dad screamed. He took a step towards Tommy, and Sunkist stepped in front of him and started growling. Tommy reached down to pat her head, and she stepped back to his side. “You’ve fucked over my life, and now you’re fucking over my son’s!”</p>
<p>“Dad…” Joshua said. He stepped forward and grabbed his dad’s hand. His dad turned to him quickly, and Joshua realized he was on the verge of tears. “Can you please calm down? I… I think we should listen to Tommy.”</p>
<p>His dad turned back to Tommy. “Stop fucking with him,” he said.</p>
<p>“I-I’m not!” Tommy said defensively. “I’m not doing that again! I didn’t even want to in the f-first place!”</p>
<p>“Dad, I seriously think we should listen,” Joshua said. He squeezed his dad’s hand. “I… I’ve seen a lot of stuff. Tommy’s been through a lot. I think… I just think we should listen.” Joshua was still angry, maybe even furious, but he believed Tommy when he said that he never wanted to hurt him. Tommy had tried to fix things earlier after all, even if it had been in a way that hurt Joshua in a different way. He still felt like he knew things he wasn’t supposed to, but they weren’t clear anymore.</p>
<p>His dad squeezed his hand back and turned to look back at Tommy. Tommy was looking at him desperately, and Sunkist was even whimpering slightly. Joshua’s dad sighed, but nodded. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay, I’ll listen. But only cuz you never tried to kill me.”</p>
<p>“And saved you s-several times, but we don’t… we can talk about that later,” Tommy said. “Mr. Freeman, I understand that it was all just a game to you, but we really were p-people. And we’ve been… we’re all in pain, Mr. Freeman. All of us.” He bit his lip, and glanced around like he was considering something.</p>
<p>“They were screaming,” Joshua said. His dad and Tommy turned back to him. “I told you earlier, Dad. I heard them all, and…” He swallowed, suddenly feeling like he might cry. “It was terrifying. I don’t know what I would have done if… if I was stuck listening to you screaming my name and trying to find me for thirteen years when I c-couldn’t even…” He trailed off, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. His dad turned to him and hugged him tightly. Tommy watched the two of them, and Joshua could see the jealousy and anger in his eyes. Joshua dried his tears quickly. He had no right to be this upset right now. “We’ve gotta help him.”</p>
<p>“I…” His dad sighed as he turned back to Tommy. “Tommy, you’ve got to understand, man. You guys seriously fucked me over. You’ve been watching, right?” Tommy nodded. “You’ve seen how fucked up I’ve been since the game. You-”</p>
<p>“Game,” Tommy scoffed. “That’s all i-it was to you, Mr. F-Freeman. A game. If you couldn’t… if you couldn’t handle a game like that, it isn’t my fault th-that you kept playing anyway.” He was glaring daggers at Joshua’s dad. “We couldn’t have possibly… there’s something else b-beneath the surface here, Mr. Freeman. I’m n-not here to listen to it, though, so h-hand me the game and let me use your c-computer.” He held his hand out, waiting for Joshua’s dad to give him the game.</p>
<p>Joshua’s dad sobbed quietly, and Joshua thought he was going to collapse. He didn’t know what was going on, not with his dad, and not with Tommy either. “Dad?” He asked quietly. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” his dad mumbled. “I’m so sorry.” He wiped at his eyes, but it didn’t stop the tears. “I’m sorry, to both of you. I didn’t… I never…”</p>
<p>Oddly enough, Tommy moved before Joshua could. He hugged Joshua’s dad, and Joshua saw that he was crying too. “You’re s-still my friend, Mr. Freeman,” he said quietly. “I wanted to… to help you, but I have t-to help myself first. A-and I need your help to d-do that.” Joshua’s dad pressed his face into Tommy’s chest as Sunkist came up to lick his hand gently.</p>
<p>Joshua leaned against his dad carefully, since he couldn’t exactly hug him with one hand. “It’s okay, Dad,” he said. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out.”</p>
<p>His dad laughed tearfully. “When did you two get so mature?” He asked.</p>
<p>“I’m thirty-seven, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said with a chuckle. “Or… wait, should I count the last thirteen years? Oh god, am I fifty?” </p>
<p>They all laughed, awkward and cathartic, but still laughed. Joshua’s dad wiped his eyes again and moved away from the hug. “What are… what’re you gonna do with the game?” He asked Tommy. </p>
<p>“W-well, I’m going to get everyone out,” Tommy said. Sunkist began to walk around him in circles, clearly anxious for something to happen. “It’s… I’m not sure h-how to describe it, Mr. Freeman, but I know I’ll be able t-to.” He lifted his hands up, and removed gloves that neither Freeman had even realized were there. His hands were made of code, something Joshua knew but hadn’t seen up close. They looked blurrier than they should have. “I-it’s something about… about this. I’m able to… to dive into the c-code. Or… something. I don’t know… I just know that… that I can g-get them out.”</p>
<p>“And, when they get out…” Joshua’s dad trailed off.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what they’ll d-do, or how they’ll react to… to everything. I don’t control them, M-Mr. Freeman.” Tommy shrugged. </p>
<p>Joshua’s dad nodded. “Call me Gordon,” he said. “I… I’m gonna get my ass kicked, but I kind of deserve it.” He smiled and nodded. “Let's do this.”</p><hr/>
<p>Joshua watched as his dad and Tommy worked around each other to set up his dad’s old gaming  PC. His dad had told Tommy he had it, and Tommy said it would probably be easier to use for this. There was definitely still an edge to all of their words and the things they did, but they were able to banter in a way that wasn’t <i>too</i> serious, and they worked well together. Joshua sat on his dad’s bed and pet Sunkist. She was laying across his lap, occasionally barking to let out bits of light. Joshua tried to catch the little balls but they popped whenever he touched them. After a while, his dad and Tommy stood back as the computer booted up. </p>
<p>“That’s… a lot of updates,” his dad mumbled. “This might take a while…” Tommy hummed and nodded. “Uh… I guess we should… talk?”</p>
<p>“I guess…” Tommy replied. They stood in silence, not looking at each other, so Joshua piped up.</p>
<p>“What’s the stuff Sunkist keeps barking out?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Oh!” Tommy jumped in excitement and turned to him. “That’s the Black Mesa Sweet Voice! It’s used to communicate emotions! I gave it to Sunkist because I wanted people to know how she was feeling! I can tell without it, but that’s because I made her that way.”</p>
<p>“You’re the one that made her?” Joshua asked. Tommy nodded excitedly. “So… you’re the ‘very smart scientist’?” He giggled as Tommy turned red.</p>
<p>“Ah… there’s nothing wrong with a l-little self congratulations!” He said. Joshua’s dad chuckled, and Tommy turned to him. “Alright Mr. ‘Gordon Sprint’, laugh it up!”</p>
<p>“What?” Joshua asked, holding in more giggles.</p>
<p>“It was funny!” His dad said to defend himself. </p>
<p>Joshua sat back and watched as his dad and Tommy traded jabs and stories from Black Mesa. There were moments where they paused, one of them having taken it too far, before they jumped back in on a different topic. Joshua learned various snippets about Black Mesa through the conversation. Apparently, Tommy had been the crack shot of the team, while Harold (who he learned was called Dr. Coomer throughout the trip) was the man for fist fights. Bubby was apparently the local arsonist, and there was a man named Darnold who had been their “potions master”, although he hadn’t been there for most of it. Tommy even told Joshua about the soldier that had kidnapped Sunkist and his insane demands. He assured Joshua’s dad that he wasn’t coming out of the game with the rest of them, and that he hadn’t even heard his voice in the void. All three of them found it weird, but Joshua’s dad looked so relieved that he decided not to question it.</p>
<p>“Uh… Tommy?” Joshua asked. Tommy was sitting on his right at this point, petting Sunkist with him, so he just hummed instead of replying. “There was one voice I heard in the void that I didn’t recognize, and I don’t think it was Darnold, since I’m pretty sure I figured out which voice he was. Is… is there someone you guys aren’t telling me about?” As Joshua finished, his dad took his hand and squeezed it tightly, while Tommy sighed.</p>
<p>“He’s not coming out, is he?” Joshua’s dad asked.</p>
<p>“H-he is,” Tommy replied. Joshua’s dad looked like he had more to say, but Tommy was talking again before he could. “I t-told you that we had to try and… that we had to understand. Benrey never wanted to hurt anyone, least of all you. It was something with… with the code. I d-don’t know what, I’ve been t-trying to figure it out for thirteen years. I’ve been listening to him apologizing t-to nothing for thirteen years, a-and talking to himself because he thinks that… that the rest of us are happy without him.” Tommy swallowed thickly, and Joshua’s dad squeezed his hand again, so Joshua squeezed back. “H-he was my friend, Mr. Freeman. We weren’t close, but I know that… I know Benrey didn’t want t-to do all of that. I want to give him a… a second chance.”</p>
<p>Joshua’s dad swallowed too, and nodded. “Yeah… okay,” he said. “I think… I think I know what you’re talking about. I mean… if I’m giving Bubby a second chance after the hand incident, then I might as well do the same with Benrey.” He chuckled. “I honestly… sometimes I kinda missed him. He made me laugh when he wasn’t being a total asshole.”</p>
<p>Tommy smiled. “I always thought that… that you liked him more than you let on.” He winked at Joshua, who broke out in an evil grin.</p>
<p>“Oh, no, don’t-”</p>
<p>“Did you guys kiss?” Joshua asked. “Did you smooch? Do a little kissy?”</p>
<p>Tommy laughed as Joshua continued to tease his dad, who was bright red and denying everything. He had been teasing Joshua about his crush on Lizzie for years, and it was time for payback. Eventually though, that got old, and the three of them fell into silence as they watched the update bar on the old computer inch along.</p>
<p>“I really am sorry,” Joshua’s dad said out of nowhere. “To both of you.” Tommy and Joshua both turned to him. “I know you said that you weren’t here to listen to it, Tommy, but… I really feel like I should explain myself. To Joshua at the very least.”</p>
<p>“I… I can listen, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, “just don’t expect me to forgive you b-because of it.”</p>
<p>“That’s totally fair,” Joshua’s dad said. He took a deep breath and let it out. “I played the game for a weekend straight because your dad took you to his mom’s place after a fight we had,” he was addressing Joshua when he spoke, but his words were for both of them, “and I just wanted a little bit of escapism. It kinda backfired, but… well, it still happened. I wanted to move past it all, both the fight and Black Mesa, and it worked, for a while. Your dad and I were… we were fine while you were younger, Joshua, but when you got older it just… it fell apart again. You know that he was more of a daredevil than I ever was, even before all this.” Joshua nodded and squeezed his dad’s hand tightly. “It… it scared me so bad. Something about the… the mix of the knowledge that everything I went through in Black Mesa being real, even if it wasn’t real to me, mixed with everything your dad was doing, just… I guess I cracked.” He sighed and began to pet Sunkist gently. “I don’t know if you remember, but I kept both you and your dad in the house for a whole month. I wouldn’t be surprised if you suppressed the memory.”</p>
<p>Joshua remembered. He hadn’t known how bad it was until it was over. He was ten, and he should’ve known it was bad when he hadn’t gone to school for two weeks and they were running out of food, but he forced himself into ignorance. He ignored how much his dads fought, and he ignored when his dad would scream in fear at even the smallest things. He didn’t remember it clearly, so he wasn’t sure if he really had suppressed parts of it, but he did remember it.</p>
<p>“We got divorced after that. You definitely remember that part.” His dad chuckled, and it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Joshua glanced at Tommy, who was listening intently, but hiding all his emotions. “I’m lucky he didn’t fight for full custody, but I wouldn’t have blamed him. I mean… I figured I had to try and get shit together after that, and I did my best, but…” He sighed. “I always felt like going to therapy meant that I was ‘broken’.”</p>
<p>“M-Mr. Freeman…” Tommy said sympathetically. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know, it’s dumb,” Joshua’s dad said. “It’s just… you know. Hard to get over that thought.” Joshua squeezed his hand again. “Joshua, you remember when your dad started to… I don’t even know how to describe it, honestly.”</p>
<p>“You mean how he basically became the next Evel Knievel?” Joshua asked. “Yeah, I remember.” He felt his eyes getting hot with tears. “He didn’t make it.”</p>
<p>“We were just starting to… to talk again. Work things out, y’know? We weren’t about to get remarried, but we were talking about maybe moving in together again, just to make life a bit easier for us all, when…” Joshua’s dad bit his lip. Joshua shoved his face into his dad’s chest, and he pet his hair as he began to cry. He felt a hand on his back, and he knew that Tommy was trying to comfort him too. “So… a lot has happened here too. I know it’s not an excuse, there is no excuse, just…” Joshua’s dad sighed, but didn’t say anything else.</p>
<p>The three of them (and Sunkist) sat there for a long time, before Tommy cleared his throat. “I-I’m not upset anymore,” he said. “I don’t really… I’m not sure if I f-forgive you, Mr. Freeman, but I understand, a-and I don’t blame you.” He squeezed Joshua’s shoulder tightly. “I-I know I’ve messed up over the… the past few months too, and… and I can’t believe you g-gave me a second chance after I… I did this to Joshua. Which I really didn’t mean to.” Joshua nodded, he understood. “I think… I think we should just… I think we should get everyone else out and… and take it from there.” He chuckled awkwardly. “And we’re all getting therapy. W-we all need it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Joshua’s dad said, “for sure. And I told you, man, call me Gordon!”</p>
<p>“Okay, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy replied, making both Joshua and his dad laugh.</p>
<p>After another half an hour of slightly awkward conversation, the computer in front of them finally booted up. They all stared at it for a moment, before Joshua’s dad finally said, “now what?”</p>
<p>“P-pop the game in, and… and let me get to work,” Tommy replied. “Uh… th-there is one problem, th-though.”</p>
<p>“What’s up?” Joshua asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t think… I’m not sure I’m going to be completely conscious for… for this,” Tommy explained. “It’s a little… a little different than when I’m working with the code in the void. In there, I could only… manipulate it. I couldn’t really pull parts of it together, or… or apart. So… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to explain t-to everyone what’s going on. A-and I know that they won’t want the first person they talk to to be Mr. Freeman.” He turned to look at Joshua, but his dad quickly objected.</p>
<p>“No way,” he said. “Look, I’m willing to accept whatever hell they’ve got in store for me, but I’m not letting them unleash that on Josh.”</p>
<p>“They’re going to go for you i-immediately if someone doesn’t explain,” Tommy said, “and I c-can’t do it. Sunkist couldn’t get across everything that happened, so… we d-don’t really have any other option, Mr. Freeman.”</p>
<p>“I’m okay with it, Dad,” Joshua said. “I mean… how bad could it be?”</p>
<p>“Bubby and Benrey got my hand cut off,” his dad reminded him.</p>
<p>“I-I think they’ll both have other things on their m-minds,” Tommy said. “B-but, if it makes you feel any better, Mr. Freeman, I was going to… to save Benrey for last, s-so Joshua can leave before he shows up. I’ll be able to explain it t-to him then m-myself.”</p>
<p>“I…” Joshua’s dad took a deep breath, but he nodded. “Okay. Okay, yeah. If something happens to him though, I’m going to murder you, Tommy.”</p>
<p>“Understandable,” Tommy replied.</p>
<p>Joshua’s dad hugged him tightly. “You stay safe, okay?”</p>
<p>“Dad, I’ve got this,” Joshua replied, despite how terrified he felt. “We’ll get it all sorted out.”</p>
<p>“I know you will.” His dad kissed his forehead. “You’re so much stronger than me, Joshie. I’m so proud of you.”</p>
<p>Joshua beamed at his dad. “I love you,” he said.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” his dad replied. He glanced between the two of them one last time, before he made his way downstairs. </p>
<p>Tommy nodded towards the door, and Sunkist went after him. He then turned back to Joshua. “O-okay, my dad is going to be first, since… since there’s only one of him. I-it’ll be easy to find him in the code. F-from there I’m gonna go in alphabetical order, except f-for Benrey. So you’ll leave after Darnold gets out, okay?”</p>
<p>“Got it,” Joshua said with a nod. </p>
<p>“G-good,” Tommy said. He smiled at Joshua and squeezed his shoulder. “Your dad is right. You’re a really strong p-person, Joshua. I’m glad I got to meet you.”</p>
<p>“You say that like you’re saying goodbye,” Joshua replied teasingly.</p>
<p>Tommy chuckled, and Joshua chose to ignore that it was sort of sad. “I-I’ll talk to you when they’re all out.” He said. He shrugged his suit coat off, and rolled up his sleeves, before he turned to the computer. “W-well. Here goes everything.” His hands phased right through the keyboard, and his eyes became nothing but code as he went dead on his feet. </p>
<p>All there was left for Joshua to do was to wait.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When I went into this chapter, I was fully prepared to bring the Science Team back in it, but with the direction it ended up going, I felt like that would become too long and take away the importance of what did end up in this chapter. Tommy and Gordon talking and healing was important, and so was Joshua learning more stuff about Black Mesa. Also, I wanted to talk about Joshua's other dad for more than a couple of (accidentally confusing) sentences way back in chapter one. And, yes, the ending part is like that one scene from Steven Universe in the middle of the badass song (I've never watched the show, cut me some slack), but I didn't realize until I was in the middle of writing it, and it's been in my head that way since I started the fic, so...... deal with it osafasodifn</p>
<p>And, if you saw me add and then almost immediately delete the "Altered Memories" tag from this fic??? No you didn't &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh my god this chapter is just,,,,,, *big sigh*. I've gone through and edited this chapter several times now, and I just can't seem to be satisfied with it. There were just so many things that I didn't like about it, but at the same time I'm really proud of it. I hope y'all like it at least! It's a pretty pivotal chapter,,,, some big tags are finally coming into play &gt;:)</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua sat on the ground next to Tommy for what felt like an eternity. He began to pick at the carpet in his dad’s room, and wished that he had something to do. His phone or something. He’d gotten so caught up in everything that he didn’t bring anything like that with him. He faintly wondered what time it was, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight no matter what. He wished that he at least had Sunkist to pet, but his dad probably needed her more than he did. Especially if any of the people who showed up decided to get violent. He looked up at Tommy, and his heart twisted in pain. He looked so lifeless. His eyes were just scrolling code, and he had begun to drool. Even that looked like code. The poor guy was clearly working hard.</p><p>Joshua jumped up as fast as he possibly could when someone came toppling out of the screen of the PC. </p><p>A tall man, even taller than Tommy, also wearing a suit was sitting on the floor of Joshua’s dad’s room. He had a hand on his head, and was looking around, clearly confused. Joshua carefully stepped in front of him and held his hand out to help him up. He looked a lot like Tommy, and Joshua assumed this was the “real” Mr. Coolatta. “Uh… hi,” he said. “You’ve probably got some questions, huh?”</p><p>Mr. Coolatta stared at him for a moment, before he took his hand and let Joshua help him stand. “I… yes,” he said, “I certainly do…”</p><p>“Well, uh… first of all, my name is Joshua. Joshua Freeman.” Mr Coolatta’s eyes widened when he heard Joshua’s last name, but he’d been expecting similar reactions. “Um… welcome to the real world! I guess…” Man, he really should have come up with a script before this. “Tommy’s been working really hard to get you all out and-”</p><p>“Tommy,” Mr. Coolatta said, his voice breathy. “Oh god, Tommy, where is he?”</p><p>“Behind you,” Joshua said. “But maybe don’t touch him!” He shouted as Mr. Coolatta turned quickly and stepped forward to touch Tommy. He stopped short next to him, and Joshua came around to Tommy’s other side. “He’s, uh… he’s looking for the others. He said he probably wouldn’t be conscious for it, and… I think he was right.” Joshua watched as Mr. Coolatta, very carefully, reached up to wipe away the drool on Tommy’s chin with his thumb. It made Joshua cringe, but Mr. Coolatta was his dad, and had probably done it a lot when Tommy was a baby. “Uh… my dad is downstairs. You… you probably want to talk to him, right?”</p><p>Mr. Coolatta stood up straighter, and his vulnerable expression dropped into something much more dangerous. “Yes…” he said, “I would like to have a… word with your father.”</p><p>“Please don’t kill him,” Joshua said. “He and Tommy have been talking, and… I think they’re on good terms. My dad just… he doesn’t want to hurt you guys anymore. I don’t know how much he forgives you guys, but he doesn’t want to fight anymore.”</p><p>Mr. Coolatta nodded slowly. “I have… very little ill will towards your father.” Joshua could tell he was lying. “I do not think that I am the one that he needs to… worry about.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Joshua said.</p><p>Mr. Coolatta gave him the ghost of a smile. “Will you please get me the moment that Tommy is with us again?” He asked.</p><p>“Tommy said I should leave before he gets Benrey out, but I’m sure Benrey will,” Joshua replied.</p><p>Mr. Coolatta seemed to think this over for a moment, before he nodded again. “Yes… that will suffice. I wish you luck with dealing with the rest of your father’s… associates.” He nodded to Joshua one more time, before he disappeared down the stairs.</p><p>Joshua let out a long breath. He definitely saw what Tommy was going for with his whole get up before he had showed up in front of Joshua’s dad. He went to sit on his dad’s bed, and just watched Tommy’s back for a while. He blinked a few times when he thought he saw code crawling along Tommy’s back, but it disappeared. He had just rested his chin in his hands when someone else came toppling out of the computer. It took Joshua a moment to figure out which one he must be. Alphabetical besides Benrey meant that… this had to be Bubby.</p><p>“Hey,” Joshua said, offering Bubby a hand as well. Bubby stared at him with wide eyes, before they narrowed and he reached for Joshua’s forearm. He saw the sparks dancing on Bubby’s fingers just in time to move his hand back. “Calm down! I’m not gonna hurt you! No one is!”</p><p>“Bullshit!” Bubby yelled. He stood quickly, and Joshua tried not to feel intimidated by his sharp teeth that were now showing in a snarl. “Whatever the fuck you did is…” he trailed off as he looked Joshua up and down. “You’re not Gordon,” he said bluntly.</p><p>“N-no!” Joshua said. He carefully scooted to his left until he was in front of the door out of his dad’s room. Bubby followed his movement like a hawk. “I’m Joshua. Joshua Freeman. Uh… Gordon’s my dad, but-”</p><p>“Where is the fucker?” Bubby asked.</p><p>“Uh… I think I should do a little explaining first?” Joshua tried. </p><p>“I know what happened,” Bubby said. “We were a bunch of AIs in a game, your dad played, like a total dumbass might I add, and then when he shut it down, we were stuck for god knows how long!” Bubby’s hair was smoking slightly, and Joshua swallowed. “And now we’re out! I bet it’s because your dad got bored, huh? Decided he wasn’t done toying with us, right?”</p><p>“N-no,” Joshua said, trying not to be <i>too</i> intimidated. “Tommy got you out.”</p><p>Bubby seemed to shrink back into a normal size, no longer looking larger than life. He turned and saw Tommy with his hands in the keyboard and his face blank. He took a small step forward, and Joshua decided not to try and warn him about not touching Tommy, since it seemed alright before. Bubby just stared for a moment, before he sighed heavily. His shoulders slouched, and Joshua was ready to tell him where his dad was, when he suddenly tensed again and turned to Josh so fast he almost fell over. “Is Harold out?” He asked frantically.</p><p>“Not yet, but he’s next,” Joshua said. “I think it might get kind of crowded in here if you wait, but-”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up,” Bubby said. “I’m waiting for my husband and you can fuck off if you think I’m not.”</p><p>Joshua tried not to let the harsh words get to him. Honestly, he couldn’t blame Bubby for them. “Okay,” he said, “but it could take a while. You took a while to find, and I bet Dr. Coomer is going to take longer since Tommy will have to sort through his clones to find the right one.” Bubby nodded and, wordlessly, went to sit on Joshua’s dad’s bed. Joshua carefully sat next to him, and he got a glare in response, but nothing more. </p><p>“Your dad’s downstairs, isn’t he?” Bubby asked.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” Joshua answered. Sure, Bubby had said that he was waiting for his husband, but he seemed pretty pissed. “Mr. Coolatta’s down there too. He has been for a bit.” Joshua swallowed, suddenly a little worried about what might be happening down there. </p><p>“He’ll take care of business,” Bubby said. Joshua was comforted by that, but only for a moment. “Harold and I will take care of the rest.” Bubby’s voice was dark, and Joshua felt like he was going to be sick.</p><p>“P-please don’t kill my dad,” he said, and it came out much more pathetic than he thought it would.</p><p>Bubby looked at him for a long moment, before he smiled. “Kid, you don’t know shit about me,” was all he said.</p><p>Joshua went to reply, but another person fell out of the computer before he could say anything.</p><p>“Oh!” Dr. Coomer said. He hopped up immediately, not at all shaken by what had just happened. He looked up at Bubby and Joshua sitting on the bed and grinned. “Ah! Hello Bubby!”</p><p>Bubby had launched himself at Dr. Coomer before Joshua could say anything. The two of them dissolved into tears and random words that Joshua couldn’t distinguish as they talked over each other. It was sweet, in a sort of messed up way. Joshua just sat on the bed and watched. He wasn’t about to interrupt the two of them. </p><p>Well… okay. There was only so much kissing he could put up with. </p><p>He cleared his throat, and both of them turned to him. Bubby looked ready to start yelling again, but Dr. Coomer spoke before he could do anything. “You must be Joshua!” Dr. Coomer said. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”</p><p>“Uh… yeah,” Joshua said. “You’re taking this way better than everyone else.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ve known about being an AI for a very long time!” Dr. Coomer replied. “It was horrifying.” His tone completely shifted, and Joshua felt a chill run down his spine. Dr. Coomer seemed to be back to normal after a moment. “Goodness! What happened to your arm?”</p><p>“Huh?” Joshua looked down at himself, and remembered the sling very suddenly. “Oh! Uh… I almost got hit by a car and rolled out of the way too fast. Hit the curb weird.” He shrugged. “That’s not important. What is important is that my dad is downstairs, and-” Joshua didn’t get to finish what he was saying before Bubby and Dr. Coomer were thundering down the stairs. Joshua heard a very loud “HELLO GORDON!” followed by his dad screaming, and he winced. That was going to be bad.</p><p>He didn’t have long to think about it before someone else came out of the computer. </p><p>“Huh?” He said aloud as he looked around. Joshua counted on his fingers, and realized this had to be Darnold. Benrey was next, but he didn’t have to worry about that right now. “Um… hi?” Darnold said, giving Joshua a cautious wave.</p><p>“Hey,” Joshua said, returning the wave. “Uh… welcome to the real world?”</p><p>Darnold looked around again and got up carefully. “I was wondering what was going on,” he said. “Were we in a video game?” </p><p>“Uh… yeah,” Joshua replied. “You guys were AI. My dad was the player. You’re out now though! That’s good!” </p><p>Darnold smiled at him, and Joshua relaxed. “That is good!” He said. “Your dad must be Gordon, right?” Joshua nodded. “Wow… what a world…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name!” </p><p>“Oh! I’m Joshua!” He held his hand out, and Darnold shook it. “Uh… don’t you have questions and stuff?”</p><p>“Oh, lots,” Darnold replied. He turned and looked Tommy up and down. “That would be… the main one…”</p><p>“Tommy’s been working really hard to get you all out,” Joshua said. “He’s been through some really bad stuff over the past thirteen years because of it. I don’t know exactly what he’s doing right now, but he’s the one that got you out.” He watched as Darnold took a moment to look over Tommy, getting closer so he could see his face. “The others are downstairs,” Joshua said, but he knew that Darnold wasn’t paying attention. He was looking at Tommy with worry, admiration, and small bits of affection.</p><p>“He didn’t forget me…” Darnold mumbled. Joshua couldn’t help smiling. His dad and Tommy had told him about how Darnold hadn’t been with the group for very long, and how he hadn’t been there at the end. But Tommy seemed adamant about getting him out as well, and it looked like Darnold really appreciated it. “I think I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”</p><p>“Yeah, probably,” Joshua said. “Uh… Tommy said that he’d stick around to explain stuff to Benrey, so we should probably go see how the others are doing with my dad.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Darnold mumbled. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” He looked Tommy over again. “Were his arms always like that?” He asked, gesturing to Tommy’s arms, which were all code.</p><p>Joshua was distracted by a loud crash and scream from downstairs, so he just nodded without looking. “Yeah, sure, of course,” he replied. “We should get down there.” He raced down the stairs, Darnold following him at a much slower pace, glancing back at Tommy repeatedly.</p><p>The scene in the Freeman living room was absolute chaos. The TV was knocked over and definitely broken, the couch was overturned, and all the art that had been on the wall had come crashing down. Joshua’s dad was in the middle of the room, being held down in a wrestling hold by Dr. Coomer, while Bubby held a ball of fire in his hand. Mr. Coolatta was watching calmly from the armchair. </p><p>“Oh shit,” Darnold mumbled.</p><p>“Hey!” Joshua yelled. He ran into the room, waving his arms to distract Dr. Coomer and Bubby.</p><p>“Hello Joshua!” Dr. Coomer replied, although he didn’t let go of Joshua’s dad. “Can we help you?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Joshua replied. “Stop killing my dad, please!”</p><p>“I wouldn’t let them kill him,” Mr. Coolatta piped up from across the room. “But I wasn’t going to stop them from a… bit of fun.”</p><p>“Joshua! You get all my old games!” Joshua’s dad yelled. Except… he was being overly dramatic, and didn’t sound like he was in any distress. “Tell my wife… I love her…” He pretended to die in Dr. Coomer’s hold.</p><p>“Oh my!” Dr. Coomer said. “It seems our dear Gordon has perished!”</p><p>“Wait.” Joshua stared at the three of them. “I’m confused.”</p><p>“As I said,” Mr. Coolatta said, “a bit of fun.”</p><p>Dr. Coomer let go of Joshua’s dad, and Bubby helped him up. He looked happier than Joshua had seen him in years. “You see, Joshua, I simply couldn’t find it in myself to be upset!” Dr. Coomer explained. “I have never been one to hold a grudge! Except for all the times I did!” Joshua held in a snort of laughter, and glanced over Dr. Coomer’s shoulder at his dad and Bubby. They were glaring daggers at each other, but it seemed to be (somewhat) playful. “We certainly put Gordon through a lot while he was playing the game. I understand that, perhaps, it should not have had as much of an effect on him as it did, but we all deal with and process trauma in different ways.” Dr. Coomer looked over at Joshua’s dad, who had broken out in a slap fight with Bubby. “Sunkist is the perfect dog, as Tommy has told us many times. She seems to understand what people need to hear. Even if they aren’t aware they could even be hearing anything.” Joshua gave him a confused look and he smiled. “Gordon’s apology and explanation was very touching. As a divorced man myself, I can sympathize.”</p><p>“But… Bubby, you were freaking out when you showed up!” Joshua said.</p><p>“Learn to take a joke, kid,” Bubby replied. </p><p>“He’s kind of just like that, Joshua,” his dad told him. He came over and hugged Joshua tightly. “I’m so glad you’re safe…”</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Joshua asked. “I’m glad you’re safe! I thought these guys were going to kill you!”</p><p>“I must admit that… I am not nearly as quick to forgive as these two,” Mr. Coolatta said, “but your father did keep his promise to… protect my progeny. Albeit in a… very roundabout way.”</p><p>Darnold cleared his throat from the doorway. “Uh. Hi,” he said.</p><p>“Dr. Pepper! It’s wonderful to see you again!” Dr. Coomer said. He walked over to Darnold and gave him a friendly slap on the back. Darnold almost face planted from the force behind it. “It looks like you’ll be able to fly your kites after all!”</p><p>“I-I guess so!” Darnold replied. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you all.”</p><p>“Everyone has their limits!” Dr. Coomer said. “We’re just glad that you’re here!”</p><p>“Thank you,” Darnold said with a bright smile. </p><p>Sunkist barked from her spot on the couch. Which had somehow been righted… Joshua decided not to question it. There was too much weird shit going on already anyways. “Thanks, girl,” his dad said, walking over to scratch behind her ears. “I have no idea what I’d do if these guys were actually trying to kill me.”</p><p>“Die.”</p><p>“Thank you, Dr. Coomer,” Joshua’s dad replied sarcastically. “Uh… I think you guys should get to know Josh! Or we should catch up! Or… or something!”</p><p>“What about Tommy?” Joshua asked. “Shouldn’t we wait for him?”</p><p>“He already knows you, Joshua. Maybe you can just tell them a little bit about yourself?” His dad suggested.</p><p>Joshua felt a little out of his element. Okay, a <i>lot</i> out of his element. He had been fully prepared to break up a lethal fight, but he’d been met with a play fight and his dad actually laughing with the people he had been afraid of for over a decade. His dad didn’t look scared at all, actually. Not even over all the broken glass around the room. Joshua faintly wondered if any of the others had done anything, but when he looked at his dad he realized that he was still afraid. There was panic in his dad’s eyes, but more than that there was relief. Joshua knew this wouldn’t be the end of his dad’s issues with fear, including about all the people in the room, but he was smiling and looked ready to brag about Joshua in the way only a proud dad could. Joshua glanced around the room and saw that all the others seemed to be waiting for him to say something, almost like they were ready to hang off of his every word.</p><p>Bubby was pretending that he wasn't interested, but he kept glancing at Joshua. Dr. Coomer was just staring at him, and Joshua thought that maybe he was expecting him to rattle off an article from Wikipedia (the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit!). Darnold was showing polite, but genuine interest, and Mr. Coolatta was staring Joshua down in a way that might have been creepy if there weren’t the faintest hint of fatherly affection in his eyes.</p><p>“Uh… okay,” Joshua finally said. “Well… I like to skateboard.”</p><p>“A skateboard is a type of sports equipment used for skateboarding. They are usually made of a specially designed 7-ply maple plywood deck with a polyurethane coating for smoothness and durability and wheels attached to the underside by a pair of skateboarding trucks,” Dr. Coomer began to ramble. Joshua snorted in laughter, and his dad rolled his eyes to settle into what would surely be a long rant. “The skateboarder moves by pushing with one foot with other foot balanced on the board, or by pumping one's legs in structures such as a bowl or half pipe. A skateboard can also be used by simply standing on the deck while on a downward slope and allowing gravity to propel the board and rider. If the rider's leading foot is their right foot, they are said to ride "goofy;" if the rider's leading foot is their left foot, they are said to ride "regular." If the rider is normally regular but chooses to ride goofy, they are said to be riding in "switch," and vice versa. A skater is typically more comfortable pushing with their back foot; choosing to push with the front foot is commonly referred to as riding "mongo", and has-”</p><p>“TOMMY!!!”</p><p>Everyone in the room jumped and looked towards the stairs. There was a small moment where everyone was frozen, before Mr. Coolatta was on his feet and making a mad dash for the stairs. Everyone else followed him, going almost as fast. Joshua managed to shove his way into the room and looked over the scene in front of him. </p><p>A man, the security guard from Tommy’s memories, was kneeling on the ground next to Tommy, and Joshua assumed he was Benrey. He had tears in his eyes and he leaned in close to Tommy’s face. Tommy was sprawled out across the floor, like he’d fallen backwards from where he’d been standing in front of the computer. Joshua could only assume that someone as tall as Tommy would hit their head against his dad’s bed frame, but that was the least of their worries. Mr. Coolatta let out a loud sob as he fell into a kneel besides Benrey.</p><p>“i can’t… i’m trying to Sweet Voice him, and-” Benrey choked out between sobs.</p><p>“Tommy…” Mr. Coolatta mumbled. “Tommy, please, wake up.”</p><p>Sunkist slipped between everyone’s legs and lay her head on Tommy’s chest, whining loudly. Joshua heard Darnold wretch, and Bubby was hiding Dr. Coomer’s eyes against his shoulder. Joshua’s dad was looking on in disbelief, his eyes wide. Joshua knew he must have looked the same. Seeing someone as powerful as Tommy like this was terrifying.</p><p>Joshua faintly recalled Darnold asking if Tommy’s arms had always been “like that”, and now he was regretting not paying more attention. The code had spread, and it had spread fast. Tommy’s body was entirely code, the edges of it blurry and faint. He almost seemed to be phasing in and out of existence, but Sunkist’s head on his chest never fell through him. Mr. Coolatta carefully took Tommy’s hand, and, when the code didn’t spread to him, he pressed his forehead against Tommy’s chest as well.</p><p>The room was silent for a long few minutes, before Joshua noticed something. “His… his right eye,” he mumbled.</p><p>Everyone looked up, and, sure enough, Tommy’s right eye and the skin around it was still normal. It was closed, but the eyelid was fluttering like he was trying to open it. Mr. Coolatta shifted his head so his ear was pressed against Tommy’s chest instead. “His heart is beating,” he said in a relieved whisper. “It’s slow, but it is… it’s beating.”</p><p>“what should we do?” Benrey asked.</p><p>“I… I don’t know…” Mr. Coolatta replied.</p><p>“Alright, put him up on the bed.” Joshua’s dad’s voice was authoritative as he stepped further into the room. “Letting him rest on the floor isn’t going to help him any.” Benrey nodded and quickly but carefully lifted Tommy into his arms. He set him on Joshua’s dad’s bed, but he didn’t look at him. “Dr. Coomer, you have experience with technological body parts, right?”</p><p>“G-Gordon, cybernetics are… are nothing like this,” Dr. Coomer said weakly.</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s the best bet we’ve got,” Joshua’s dad said. Dr. Coomer nodded and walked over to Tommy and began to examine him carefully. “Darnold, how much potion making do you think you can do without government funding?” Joshua’s dad asked as he turned back to the doorway.</p><p>“Um…” Darnold swallowed, but he seemed to steel his nerves quickly. “Properties of this universe may be completely different, meaning I’d have to learn on the job, but I think I can work quickly enough.”</p><p>“Great. Make a list, and start prep work. Bubby, you’re in charge of getting Darnold everything he needs.” Joshua’s dad tossed his car keys to Bubby, who caught them and looked at them in disbelief. “You can crash my car later, but this is serious, so you’d better not have to walk back. Check what I’ve got in the kitchen before you go. You can use any of it.”</p><p>“On it,” Darnold said before he was flying down the stairs, Bubby on his heels. </p><p>“How can I help?” Joshua asked. </p><p>His dad turned to him with a sad smile. “You’ve done enough, Josh,” he said. “More than enough. But… I need someone to babysit Benrey, and I think Mr. Coolatta being in the room would be a bad idea.”</p><p>“Mr. Freeman-”</p><p>“Trust me, man, I get it. Joshua was in the hospital only a few hours ago. But you’ve gotta let the professionals work. And the Science Team is as close as we’ve got.” Joshua’s dad rest a hand on Mr. Coolatta’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’ve been fucking up for thirteen years. I’m gonna help, no matter what it takes.”</p><p>Mr. Coolatta bit his lip for a moment, but he nodded. “A-alright,” he mumbled. “You’d better not break your promise, Mr. Freeman.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Joshua’s dad replied.</p><p>“c’mon, i gotta go see what consoles Feetman has,” Benrey said. He walked out of the room, throwing a quick glance at Joshua’s dad as he went. His eyes were on Benrey too, but they both pretended it didn’t happen.</p><p>“Come on, Mr. Coolatta,” Joshua said. He carefully took the man’s hand and led him downstairs to the living room. “We’ll help Tommy. It’s gonna be okay.”</p><p>Mr. Coolatta nodded. “Yes,” he whispered, “yes, it will be okay.”</p><p>Joshua hoped that he was right.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'M EVIL AND NOW YOU ALL KNOW IT</p><p>On a more serious note, I really hope I characterized everyone well. Darnold has so little screentime that it's kinda hard to get a grasp on his whole personality, and I think I took a bit of a risk with Dr. Coomer and Bubby's reaction to seeing Gordon again. But with how flip-floppy they are, and the overall weirdness of the source, I don't think I'm too off. Plus I'm just real tired of writing constant angst and, as you can tell, the next chapter is going to be a shit show. I hope this all worked out and wasn't a disappointment! Let me know how you feel about it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WHOO BOY, DO WE HAVE A BIGGY TODAY!!!!!!!<br/>So, uh... yeah. I really didn't mean to leave you guys on a cliffhanger for so long. I was going to take a two day break at most, but day two of that I woke up to texts from my partner saying he had COVID (we're long distance so I wasn't at risk, and he's not immunocompromised and already feeling a lot better) so, understandable, my life is a bit much rn. Some of it's good though! I'm going to be getting a psychiatric service dog at some point, although it'll be a long time coming since it takes a long time to get one. I'll stop rambling about myself now, though, and get to the fic!<br/>Although, a quick warning, there's some talk of comas in this chapter, although it isn't extensive. Just a heads up! <strike> and a weird headcanon I have about Dr. Coomer, but that's not as big of a deal</strike><br/>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joshua kicked his feet against the couch as he watched Benrey messing around with the broken TV. Mr. Coolatta had gone back to the armchair he had been in earlier, and he seemed to be staring through everything. Joshua guessed he was in shock, and he couldn’t blame him. Walking into a room and seeing your son collapsed was probably pretty bad. Joshua sure couldn’t imagine it. </p>
<p>Benrey eventually stood up with a sigh and sat on the couch next to Joshua, pouting. “lame ass Cringeman doesn’t even have a Playstation,” he said.</p>
<p>“Uh… I mean, the PS5 only came out a couple months ago, so…” Joshua shrugged.</p>
<p>“i’m sorry, the <i>what</i>?” Benrey asked.</p>
<p>“The… PS5?” Joshua replied.</p>
<p>“Time has passed in a… major way since our game was created,” Mr. Coolatta piped up. He was still staring at nothing, but at least he wasn’t completely out of it.</p>
<p>“is Xbox dead yet?” Benrey asked.</p>
<p>Joshua couldn’t help laughing. And then he couldn’t seem to stop. He faintly realized that Benrey and Mr. Coolatta were looking at him with concern, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just laughed until he cried, and then he just cried. He covered his face and cried into his hand, wishing that he could hide his face completely with both hands. He felt a hand on his back, and it rubbed up and down slowly. It reminded him of when his dad would rub his back after he threw up when he was little. He leaned into it, and then just leaned against the person entirely. They jolted, but relaxed a moment later, and moved to running their hand through his hair. Joshua’s tears slowly stopped, and he realized that he was exhausted. Several months of barely restful sleep added up, and it certainly didn’t help that he’d had an eventful evening. He let himself fall asleep, knowing that his dad wouldn’t leave him with people who would hurt him in his sleep.</p>
<p>Benrey hadn’t expected a sleeping teenager resting against his chest, but he’d just have to suck it up and deal with it. At least Joshua was warm. He kept running his hand through the kid’s hair, until he looked up and saw the G-Man looking at him with a small smile. “what?” </p>
<p>“Oh, nothing…” G-Man said.</p>
<p>“what, do you want me to shove him off?” Benrey asked. “that’s, uh, that’s friendly fire. totally unpoggers. this is a team game, gotta, uh… gotta protect the payload.”</p>
<p>“Are you saying that you… are going to protect Mr. Freeman’s son?” G-Man asked. </p>
<p>“uh…” Benrey didn’t have an answer, but he was saved by Bubby coming through the room.</p>
<p>“If you killed that thing, I swear to god, I won’t hold back,” he growled. There was less malice behind it than one would expect, although that might have had something to do with the fact that he could still see the rise and fall of Joshua’s chest as he breathed. “I’m going out. You fuckers better not make this worse.”</p>
<p>“Do you… know where you’re going?” G-Man asked.</p>
<p>“Nearest drug store,” Bubby replied as he fished Gordon’s car keys out of his pants pocket. He was holding a list of various items. “I’ll find one fast enough.”</p>
<p>“You’d better,” G-Man replied, his voice slightly dangerous.</p>
<p>“Calm the fuck down,” Bubby said as he finally got the keys out of his pocket. “As much as it might surprise you, the people that stuck by your son’s side while he went through hell do care about him. Not that you’d know anything about that.”</p>
<p>He was out the door before G-Man could say anything else.</p>
<p>“ouch,” Benrey said, “got called out for being a shit dad by a dude that doesn’t even have one. big yikes.”</p>
<p>“None of you know anything about… about my relationship with Tommy,” G-Man replied, “nor do you know about… my occupation and the limitations that… come with it.”</p>
<p>Benrey would have shrugged if it hadn’t disturbed Joshua. “you did throw him a pretty good birthday bash,” he said, “and i know jack shit about dads too, so i wouldn’t know.”</p>
<p>“Precisely,” G-Man replied, “so shut up.”</p>
<p>“pretty lame response from a guy with all powerful, uh… powers.” It was a bad ending to the sentence, and Benrey knew it, but it got his point across. “i think you’d normally be all ‘oh, wah-wah, stupid assholes insulted my epic dad skills, i should totally burn all their skin off’.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t do that, even… even if I could,” G-Man replied.</p>
<p>“huh?”</p>
<p>“You and I find ourselves in a… similar situation,” G-Man clarified. “I passed my powers on to Tommy to… keep him safe. And, in turn, he has stripped you of… yours.”</p>
<p>Benrey was uncharacteristically quiet. The two of them sat in silence for a long time, long enough that Bubby came back and the voices in the kitchen picked up again. Darnold and Bubby argued about various potion methods and possible side effects, while they all waited for a definitive answer from upstairs. Eventually, Gordon and Dr. Coomer made their way downstairs, both of them still looking morbid. G-Man was on his feet in an instant, and Benrey went to do the same, but the weight of Joshua against his chest made him stay seated. “well?” He said instead of standing.</p>
<p>“It isn’t looking too good…” Gordon said. “The code isn’t going away, but it hasn't moved into his eye either. We don’t think he’s in pain, but he does seem pretty uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that it was some kind of…” Dr. Coomer trailed off, before his eyes lit up. “Gordon! That’s it! It’s a virus!”</p>
<p>“Oh, wow, okay,” Gordon replied. “That… actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah… yeah, we can work with that.” He began to pace slightly, before he turned and pointed to G-Man. “Has Tommy ever had a cold before? Or something similar?”</p>
<p>“Y-yes,” G-Man replied, “once, when he was very young. The normal methods of… of medicine seemed to do the trick.”</p>
<p>“Good, yeah, we can work with this,” Gordon said. “Darnold! Do you have a potion to help with colds?” He called into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Yup!” Darnold replied. “I can make it with these materials too! I’ll also work on something that might break a fever.”</p>
<p>“Awesome, thank you,” Gordon replied. “Uh… we probably shouldn’t leave him alone for too long.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said, much more chipper now. “I would be happy to look after our dear Tommy!” And with that, he was bounding up the stairs again.</p>
<p>“Where is… Sunkist?” G-Man asked.</p>
<p>“I… don’t know, actually,” Gordon replied. “One minute she was standing by the bed, and the next she was gone. I’m guessing she’s somewhere helpful though. She’s the perfect dog, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes… she certainly is,” G-Man replied.</p>
<p>“yo, uh…” Benrey cleared his throat when Gordon turned to him. “your cringe kid fell asleep on me.”</p>
<p>Gordon cracked a small smile. “Yeah…” he said. “Poor kid broke his arm and then had all this on top of it.” He sat next to Joshua, and began to run his fingers through his hair. “I can try and carry him up to his room, if he’s too much.”</p>
<p>“nah,” Benrey replied, “you might wake him up. i’m good with him here.”</p>
<p>There was a small moment of awkward silence, before G-Man stood up. “I am… going to see if I can help with the… potion,” he said.</p>
<p>Gordon and Benrey watched as he went into the kitchen, and then they turned to each other. “Um…” Gordon said. Benrey just nodded, and Gordon laughed. “Fuck, dude, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“huh?” Benrey replied.</p>
<p>“Like… I’m really sorry,” Gordon said. “Just… for everything. I’m sorry for being a jerk to you in Black Mesa, and I’m sorry for killing you, and I’m even more sorry for not getting you out.” Benrey stayed silent, so Gordon tried to explain himself more. “I mean… I’m not sure if I could get you out, y’know? I wouldn’t know how, but I bet I could have figured it out. So it was a total dick move for me to not even try. And, just… I’m really sorry.” He took off his glasses with one hand, and wiped his eyes with the other. “I get it if you’re gonna get out of here as soon as Tommy’s better. Just cuz everyone else seems willing to forgive doesn’t mean you have to. I mean, I never killed any of them, or-”</p>
<p>“Feetman.” Gordon shut his mouth when Benrey said his “name”. “i don’t give a fuck that you killed me. i totally deserved it. i… i didn’t wanna be bad, but… i still was. and you’re the good guy. so you had to take out Big Bully Benrey. you would’ve given up if you couldn’t, and… and then we’d all be stuck on Xen. which is, uh… major sucksville. so… shut up.”</p>
<p>Gordon smiled. “I missed you,” he said.</p>
<p>Benrey would have let out some Sweet Voice if he still could, but he had to settle for just blushing and mocking Gordon like a first grader.</p><hr/>
<p>“Sleeping situations might be a bit of a problem…” Gordon mumbled under his breath. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, the Neo Science Team (sans Bubby and Benrey, who were both watching sleeping sons) standing around him. “By the time one of you gets tired, I bet Joshua will be up, so the couch will be free. It can probably fit… two people? If you’re close.”</p>
<p>“I am sure that Bubby would not mind if he and I shared the couch!” Dr. Coomer said. </p>
<p>“Your armchair is… quite comfortable. I have fallen asleep in a chair plenty of times before, it will not… bother me,” G-Man said. </p>
<p>“Alright, good,” Gordon said. “Um… someone will always need to be there so that he isn’t alone if something happens, but I figured we’d need shifts, so-”</p>
<p>“I can stay up all night, Gordon,” Darnold piped up. He was off in the corner of the kitchen, digging through some cabinets. “I might need to be anyway. Like I said, the properties of this universe might be completely different from the one that I’m used to. Something might go wrong with the potion, and, if that happens, I’ll need to be there to see what I can do to reverse the effects.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, you’re going… you’re going to be giving my son a… ‘potion’ that might harm him?” G-Man asked.</p>
<p>“Key word being might,” Darnold said. He sighed and turned to G-Man. “I don’t want to hurt him. But if we don’t do anything, we’re not going to make any progress at all.”</p>
<p>“Can he even drink it?” All eyes turned to Dr. Coomer. “I… do not recall seeing a mouth anymore when I was watching him.”</p>
<p>“Oh… shit…” Gordon mumbled.</p>
<p>“You mean this whole… whole idea was a waste?!?” G-Man asked, raising his voice slightly.</p>
<p>“Holy shit!!!”</p>
<p>The scream was loud enough that it could be heard throughout the entire house, which was a good thing considering it came from upstairs. The Neo Science Team rushed up the stairs as Joshua sat up from his nap, rubbing at his eyes. Benrey stood up as soon as he could and the two of them went upstairs as well.</p>
<p>“What do you mean it ‘unhinged like a snake’?!?” Gordon asked frantically.</p>
<p>“I don’t fucking know!” Bubby screamed back. “I just know that the bottom half of his face opened up!”</p>
<p>“woah,” Benrey said, “sick.”</p>
<p>“I mean… this does solve the potion issue,” Darnold said quietly.</p>
<p>“Is it even still Tommy anymore, though?” Gordon asked. “And if it is… is it worth it to try and bring him back?” The room was quiet. “I mean, like, is he gonna be ‘all there’? For lack of a better term.” Joshua took Benrey’s hand and squeezed it, and Benrey squeezed back. “He doesn’t look like he’s in pain, but what if he is? We assumed it was a yawn, but what if he was trying to scream? And where’s Sunkist? Did she leave so she wouldn’t have to see him die?”</p>
<p>“Dad,” Joshua said, loud and firm. All eyes turned to him. “You’re freaking out. You’ve gotta go relax.”</p>
<p>“But-”</p>
<p>“Dad, c’mon, last time you did this you had a full blown panic attack,” Joshua said. “You’ve gotta help these guys, but you can’t do it if you’re freaking out.” He reached out and took his dad’s hand. “I got to sleep for a while, now it’s your turn. You haven’t slept all night either.”</p>
<p>Gordon hesitated for a second, before he nodded in defeat. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay, yeah, you’re right. Um… we didn’t figure out where everyone was sleeping…”</p>
<p>“Take the couch for now, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer said. “Bubby and I will sleep later.” Gordon nodded, and made his way downstairs again, Joshua trailing behind him. “Darnold, when will the potion be ready?”</p>
<p>“It just needs to sit for another few minutes,” Darnold replied. “I was working on the fever reducer when this started. It’s fine to sit for a while too.”</p>
<p>Everyone seemed to realize that this was their first time alone outside of the game at the same time, and then no one could look at each other. It was an awkward game of “Look at Anything in Gordon’s Room that Isn’t Each Other or the Computer We Fell Out Of a Few Hours Ago” for a few minutes, before Benrey cleared his throat. “uh... sorry,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>“What for?” Darnold asked.</p>
<p>“you weren’t there for Big Bully Benrey,” Benrey replied. “i, uh, i did some fucked up stuff. it wasn’t cool. not poggers at all.”</p>
<p>“Can any of you tell… what he’s saying?” G-Man asked.</p>
<p>“Benrey, you have nothing to worry about!” Dr. Coomer told Benrey, ignoring G-Man’s question. “We all got a very good look at the code around us. I don’t imagine any of us knew what it meant, but I believe we all realized that our roles were predetermined.”</p>
<p>“Does that mean that we’re doomed to only be one way our whole life?” Darnold asked.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t sound too different than inside,” Bubby mumbled under his breath. Dr. Coomer patted his hand comfortingly.</p>
<p>“That is… not what it means at all,” G-Man said. “I have been looking at… at the code for years. We are AI. Some AI are… designed to learn. We are designed on a completely… different level. We are designed not only to learn but to… change, as well. We were made to change based upon… the players experience. Mr. Freeman has, quite literally, made us who… we are. And… he will continue to do so. As will… the rest of us. What I mean is that, like… humans, we grow and adapt based upon who… we spend our time with. Perhaps… perhaps we do not have the… full grasp of ‘free will’ as some would describe it, but… with our knowledge from people and other outside sources, we… are very close.”</p>
<p>“Well… that’s a relief,” Darnold said.</p>
<p>“I’m very glad that my desire for arson is my own,” Bubby added.</p>
<p>“so... just cuz i was designed to be bad… doesn’t mean i can’t be good?” Benrey asked.</p>
<p>“Precisely,” G-Man replied. “Although, I believe that… Tommy’s decision to strip you of your powers was… wise.”</p>
<p>“i’ll miss Sweet Voice, but the rest was bullshit anyways,” Benrey said. “i’m gonna go check on Feetman. he was freaking out really bad.”</p>
<p>“I’ve got to finish the potion,” Darnold said. He glanced around at everyone else. “Uh… thanks. For, uh… for proving to me that I wasn’t the only one left.” He chuckled. “A guy can only play TF2 for so long after all!”</p>
<p>“weeeeeeak,” Benrey said.</p>
<p>“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Darnold asked. The two of them descended the stairs, bickering the whole time.</p>
<p>“I imagine you’d like some time alone with your son, yes?” Dr. Coomer said to G-Man.</p>
<p>“Yes, I would… greatly appreciate it,” he replied.</p>
<p>“Of course! Let us know if there is anything we can do to help!” Dr. Coomer took Bubby’s hand and they left the room. </p>
<p>Bubby squeezed Dr. Coomer’s hand tightly. “Are you worried about-”</p>
<p>“Eliza?” Dr. Coomer asked. He smiled at Bubby despite tears gathering in his eyes. “She doesn’t exist. She never did. I never really had a daughter.”</p>
<p>“Harold…” Bubby said quietly.</p>
<p>“Perhaps G-Man is correct though,” Dr. Coomer mused. “She shaped who I am as a person. In that way, she is real.” He wiped at his eyes to get rid of his tears before they stepped into the living room. Joshua was sitting on the couch with Gordon’s head in his lap, stroking his dad’s hair as he slept. Benrey and Darnold were in the kitchen, still bickering about TF2. Dr. Coomer took a quick look around, and turned back to Bubby with a smile. “Besides, you two aren’t the only family I have anymore.”</p><hr/>
<p>“Hopefully it’ll take effect in half an hour,” Darnold said as he stepped out of Gordon’s room. The Neo Science Team had gathered outside as he had tried to get Tommy to drink the potion. Sunkist had blipped back into existence in the middle of the process and it had gone a lot smoother from there. Benrey had been able to decipher her barks to “silver chrome means went back home”, although none of them were entirely sure where home was. Gordon was still asleep on the couch downstairs, and Joshua had given them all a sleepy smile and thumbs up when they had gone up after Darnold.</p>
<p>“N-now what?” G-Man asked.</p>
<p>“Now… we wait,” Darnold said. “If it doesn’t work, then…” He trailed off and everyone was silent for a few moments.</p>
<p>“it’s gonna work,” Benrey said. “we’ve been through so much shit. a little virus isn’t gonna take Tommy out.”</p>
<p>“The little fuck is resiliant, I’ll give him that,” Bubby said.</p>
<p>“Would any of you like to take the next shift to watch him?” Dr. Coomer asked.</p>
<p>“i haven’t done it yet,” Benrey said.</p>
<p>“I should stay in case something bad happens with the potion…” Darnold said.</p>
<p>“i’ll get you faster than you can say, uh… something super fast,” Benrey replied. </p>
<p>“Well… okay,” Darnold relented, “but you’d better be serious about that.” </p>
<p>“100 percent, bro,” Benrey said. He watched as the others made their way downstairs, locking eyes with G-Man for a moment, before he went down with the rest of them. Benrey quietly stepped into Gordon’s room and looked over Tommy lying on the bed. He bit his lip, careful of his teeth, and sat in the desk chair that one of the others had pulled over at some point. “hey,” he said quietly. He carefully took Tommy’s hand and squeezed it. “thanks for getting me out. i wish you’d let me keep all my cool hacks, but… i’ll take it.” He watched as Tommy’s eye fluttered, still not quite opening, but showing he was alive. “you’ve gotta wake up, okay? i don’t… we wouldn’t be here without you, man. you saved all of our asses, not just last night, but the whole time we were in Black Mesa.” He squeezed Tommy’s hand tightly. “i never even got to thank you for, like… trying to understand. i’m glad you seemed to figure it out. i just… fuck, Tommy, you’ve gotta wake up, okay? you’ve gotta.” Tears began to slide down his cheeks, something he wasn’t used to. He used to just sing Sweet Voice to get his feelings out, but that wasn’t an option now. “c’mon, man, wake up.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t work like that.” Benrey jumped and turned towards the doorway. Joshua was standing in it, and he walked over to Benrey. “They don’t just wake up.”</p>
<p>“who told you that?” Benrey asked.</p>
<p>“Doctors,” Joshua replied. “My dad was out like this. I don’t know how long, I only got to see him right before they pulled the plug.”</p>
<p>“shit... i’m sorry,” Benrey said. He held his other hand out, and Joshua took it and squeezed it.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. That was a couple years ago. It still hurts, but… it’s not so bad,” he said.</p>
<p>Benrey was silent for a moment. “you said people don’t wake up from stuff like this?” He asked quietly.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Joshua replied. “I mean… they do. People wake up from comas and stuff all the time. But they also don’t.” He leaned against Benrey’s shoulder, and Benrey leaned his own head on top of Joshua’s. “This is different from any human stuff though. I… I bet he’s gonna make it. If he could track me down and enter my dreams and pop up in this world like it was nothing, he can pull through this.”</p>
<p>“that’s a real quick 180,” Benrey said. “you gonna do a no-scope too?”</p>
<p>Joshua snorted. “No,” he said, “but I wish I could. I’m no good at video games.”</p>
<p>“oh, bro, you’d better believe that i’m gonna change that,” Benrey said.</p>
<p>“What, are you gonna teach me how to play video games?” Joshua teased.</p>
<p>“uh, duh,” Benrey replied. “if Cringedon Feetman won’t then-”</p>
<p>“Oh, wow, you managed to work both cringe and feet into that one,” Gordon said from the doorway. He stepped into the room and wrapped an arm around Joshua. “Anything yet?”</p>
<p>“nope,” Benrey replied. “but, uh… i gotta say, your son is pretty poggers.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so I’m not ‘a bit shit’ after all?” Joshua teased.</p>
<p>“what? no, yeah, you totally are,” Benrey defended himself.</p>
<p>Gordon just shook his head fondly as the two of them started teasing each other. He wasn’t sure why he’d been so afraid of Benrey getting out anymore. It just felt… right.</p><hr/>
<p>“It is… my turn for watch,” G-Man said as he quietly stepped into Gordon’s room.</p>
<p>Bubby looked him up and down and narrowed his eyes. “Oh yeah?” He asked. “Suddenly you care?”</p>
<p>“Bubby, I am unsure of why you… seem to think that I am a bad father,” G-Man replied, keeping his voice calm despite Bubby’s angry tone. “I have done everything I possibly could to… give Tommy a happy life.”</p>
<p>“Seems pretty shitty to leave your kid in a situation like you did,” Bubby said snippily. “What, did you just want him to suffer for eternity?”</p>
<p>“Are you referring to… after the birthday party?” G-Man asked. Bubby nodded, but didn’t take his eyes off of Tommy. “He would have… suffered either way. I gave him what he needed to change his… situation. I knew what was coming, and… I knew that Tommy would be completely alone if I did nothing. With my powers then he would, at least, be able to search for a way to… escape. I had, and have, confidence in his ability to do things, and I know that he fears being helpless quite a… great deal.” G-Man carefully sat on the bed next to Tommy and reached out to take his hand. “I understand that you, yourself, have quite a fear of abandonment, yes?” Bubby didn’t reply, but that told G-Man everything he needed to know. “I would never leave Tommy behind. For any reason.” He carefully lifted Tommy’s hand and kissed the back of it. “He is… everything to me, Bubby. You do not understand just how much a child can… change your world view.”</p>
<p>“I sort of do,” Bubby replied. G-Man hummed instead of asking. “Harold had a daughter. Eliza. By the time I met her, she was already an adult, but… she was a great kid. I wouldn’t have given her up for anything, even if she wasn’t really mine.” He pushed all the air out of his lungs. “I don’t think she even had a chance of getting out. But… if she had, I would have wanted her to… I don’t know, at least know what was going on. So… fine. You’re a good dad. There, I said it, you want a reward or something?”</p>
<p>“Tommy is enough of a… reward for me,” G-Man replied.</p>
<p>“Gross,” Bubby said, although it was obvious he thought it was cute. “Here’s hoping he wakes up while you’re here. God knows it’ll help him feel better.”</p>
<p>“I think it will… help us both,” G-Man replied. He moved to the desk chair when Bubby stood, but turned to look at him just before he left. “Thank you,” he said, “for protecting Tommy. I could never thank you enough.”</p>
<p>Bubby smiled slightly and flipped him off. “I’m gonna go cuddle my husband now,” he said.</p>
<p>G-Man just chuckled and turned his attention back to Tommy. His son still needed him, after all.</p><hr/>
<p>Joshua carefully rubbed at his eyes with his free hand as he sat up in bed. He reached for his water bottle, but couldn’t find it. He sighed when he realized it was gone, and remembered that his dad had taken it out of his room to clean it two nights ago, and hadn’t had a chance to between all the craziness that was going on. He carefully slid out of bed and silently stepped into the hallway. He paused when he heard a voice behind the closed door to his dad’s room. He snuck up to it, and pressed his ear to it.</p>
<p>“This is fine, this is totally fine,” someone was mumbling behind the door, in a way that made it clear that whatever was happening wasn’t fine. Joshua opened the door quickly, and found Darnold standing over Tommy with a wet washcloth. He laid it across Tommy’s forehead, and rocked back and forth on his heels while he gauged his reaction. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Joshua asked.</p>
<p>Darnold jumped and turned to Joshua. “His fever is breaking,” he said, “which is both really good and really bad. It means he’s getting better from the virus, but it’s really going to suck for him. I have… no idea how someone in his state will react, but normally he’d sweat a lot and start to cool off. It feels really bad sometimes though. If… if he didn’t feel pain before, he might now.”</p>
<p>Both of them froze when Tommy let out a quiet groan and moved slightly, half rolling onto his side. </p>
<p>Sunkist sat up from her spot in the corner, and barked loudly. “I’ll get the others,” Joshua said before he was racing down the stairs. Dr. Coomer and Bubby were curled up on the couch, G-Man (as Joshua had been told to call him) was sleeping in the armchair he’d taken a liking to, and Joshua’s dad and Benrey were lying half on top of each other on the floor next to the couch. They were going to get stepped on in the commotion that was about to happen for sure. “Hey!” Joshua yelled, effectively making everyone jump awake. “Tommy’s fever is breaking!” He got a head start on the others up the stairs, but he heard them all thundering up behind him.</p>
<p>Tommy was rolling around and groaning when they all came into the room, and Darnold was trying to get him to hold still. “He doesn’t seem to be in too much pain,” he told the others, “but it’s definitely not pleasant.”</p>
<p>“sunkist, can you calm him down?” Benrey asked the dog. </p>
<p>Sunkist barked and put her front paws up on the bed to bark again in Tommy’s face. Blue Sweet Voice shot into his face, and burst around his cheeks. He slowly began to calm down, until he was lying on his back again, his chest heaving.</p>
<p>“What can we do to help?” Dr. Coomer asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t really know,” Darnold said. “I think we just have to wait it out…”</p>
<p>The next half hour was probably the worst half hour Joshua had ever been through. He sat on the floor and watched as his dad and Bubby paced around each other in the small confines of his dad’s room. G-Man, Darnold and Sunkist stayed at Tommy’s side, while Dr. Coomer sat at the foot of the bed, mumbling Wikipedia articles to himself and not looking at Tommy. Benrey was sitting next to Joshua, and they were both drumming their fingers against the floor between them. Every now and then Tommy would groan and start rolling around again until Sunkist barked at him again. Everyone’s head would perk up each time, but he just settled down again, still not lucid.</p>
<p>Until, quite slowly, but still somehow suddenly, he sat up, his remaining eye open and glowing.</p>
<p>“Wha…?” He mumbled. Everyone else was frozen as he looked around the room. “Did we win?” He asked quietly.</p>
<p>The room exploded.</p>
<p>G-Man burst into tears and climbed into the bed as well to hold Tommy as close as he could. Dr. Coomer screamed a very excited, “HELLO TOMMY!” and launched himself at Tommy as well to give him a noogie, one that Joshua was pretty sure was less hard than Dr. Coomer would normally give. Bubby whooped loudly and the bottom of his lab coat caught fire in excitement. Darnold practically collapsed into the desk chair, clearly relieved, but no less excited. Joshua’s dad was already asking a million questions about how Tommy was feeling and if he knew what was going on and how much he remembered about the past few days.</p>
<p>Joshua turned to Benrey with a big grin that was easily returned.</p>
<p>"WE BEAT THE GAME!!!" Benrey screamed at the top of his lungs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WE BEAT THE GAME!!!!!!</p>
<p>Only one or two more chapters from here! I'm thinking one, but we'll see how excited I get with all this ofnaosdifn. It's all going to be uphill from here too! Whoo!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t believe your entire family screamed when they called your name,” Lizzie said. She was grinning at Joshua as they stood out front of their school. The crowd was massive, and they were both looking for their families in it all.</p>
<p>“I can,” Joshua replied. “You’ve met them, right?”</p>
<p>Lizzie laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I have. They’re great,” she said. Her eyes lit up as she glanced to her right. “Oh! My mom’s over there! I gotta go get pictures!” She kissed Joshua’s cheek before she made her way through the crowd towards her family. Joshua couldn’t help blushing, despite the fact that they’d been together for almost a year and a half now.</p>
<p>Graduating high school had seemed like such a far off goal, even only a couple months ago when he was picking up his cap and gown. But now he was standing outside his school, trying to find his family (which <i>really</i> shouldn’t be this hard with how loud and tall some of them were) in a massive crowd of his whole class and all their families. He and Lizzie had lost Joe a while ago when he was pulled into a huge hug by one of his aunts, and promptly abandoned by the two of them. Now that Lizzie had found her mom, Joshua was the only one left. He was still listening for any booming voices and looking for any particularly tall people, when small arms wrapped around his leg.</p>
<p>“Josh!” A small girl shrieked as she squeezed him.</p>
<p>Joshua laughed and picked his little cousin up. “Hey Missy!” He said. She shrieked with laughter as he began to bounce her. “Where’s your papa? Did you run off?”</p>
<p>“Melissa, if you don’t get your ass back here right now, I’m gonna set you on fire!” Bubby screamed from the edges of the crowd. Joshua laughed loudly as several people turned to look at him, and made his way through the crowd towards his family. Missy just giggled when she finally spotted her dads and held her arms out for one of them to take her. Bubby scooped her up and threw her over his head, making her shriek with laughter again. “There you are! How many times do I have to tell you not to run off? You’re going to get kidnapped, and then we’ll have to break into an abandoned warehouse and shoot everyone!” Melissa just laughed louder, used to her dad’s insanity by now.</p>
<p>“Hello Joshua!” Dr. Coomer said. Joshua braced himself for the crushing hug that came, and rightfully so. He could barely breathe when his grandpa set him down, but he was used to it now. “You were magnificent!”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Coomer, but I didn’t really do anything,” Joshua replied, still slightly breathless. “It’s not like I was one of the ones making a speech.”</p>
<p>“You walked beautifully!” Dr. Coomer said. </p>
<p>Joshua laughed. “I guess I did!” He said. “Where are the others?”</p>
<p>“Hello… Joshua,” a voice said from behind him. Joshua jumped, but he was laughing a second later when he saw G-Man standing behind him. “Congratulations on your graduation.”</p>
<p>“Thanks! I definitely wouldn’t have been able to without you, though,” he replied. “Who knew an old suit knew so much about theoretical physics?”</p>
<p>“You tend to learn things when… you are a part of them,” G-Man replied. He squeezed Joshua’s shoulder tightly, before stepping out of the crowd to stand beside Bubby and Dr. Coomer, who were playfully arguing over how high Melissa could be thrown without it being dangerous. </p>
<p>Joshua only got a small moment to recover before he was being lifted off the ground in another hug, tight, but nowhere near as tight as Dr. Coomer’s hug had been. “Dad!” He said, flailing in a fake attempt to throw his dad off. “Put me down! C’mon, this is embarrassing!”</p>
<p>“I’m so proud of you!” His dad yelled, squeezing him tighter, before putting his feet back on the ground. Joshua turned to give him a proper hug, no less tight than the one they’d just had. “You did it! You walked!”</p>
<p>“It’s not that big of a deal!” Joshua said.</p>
<p>“Of course it is! Not everyone gets to, y’know,” his dad replied.</p>
<p>“Okay, still,” Joshua said, rolling his eyes.</p>
<p>“Still a teenager, even if you’re legally an adult,” his dad said with a grin. He ruffled Joshua’s hair, before stepping out of the way so Benrey could give Joshua a boy scout salute.</p>
<p>“yo,” he said. “nice walking. i still don’t get why it’s so important, but, uh… some pretty good walking.” Joshua chuckled and shook his head. He held out his fist for a fist bump, which Benrey gladly gave him. “so, uh… how’s Miss Girlfriend?” Benrey asked with a shit eating grin. </p>
<p>The problem with gaining another dad is that you get two people pestering you about your girlfriend. </p>
<p>“I don’t know, how’s dad doing?” Joshua asked, crossing his arms smugly. Watching Benrey flush was satisfying.</p>
<p>The good thing about getting another dad is that your first dad is sometimes clueless, so you get to tease about romance right back.</p>
<p>“shut up, Mr. ‘I Graduated and Now I’m Suddenly Smarter Than Benny Boy’. you’re a total dork. graduated from a school and stuff,” Benrey mumbled. Joshua laughed and gave him a quick hug, before gently shoving him in the direction of his dad. “just wait til you see your present back home!” Benrey called over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m so scared!” Joshua called back, his tone teasing despite the fact that he was definitely concerned now.</p>
<p>“I knew I heard yelling!” Darnold said as he parted the crowd. “Hey, kid! Congrats!”</p>
<p>“Thanks!” Joshua said. He hugged Darnold tightly, and Darnold chuckled as he hugged back. “Do you know where Tommy is?” </p>
<p>“He’s coming!” Darnold said. “He’s a bit slow cuz of Sunkist, but he’ll be here in just a second. He said we could go ahead and get going without him though, and said that he’d catch up.”</p>
<p>“fuck yeah, Chunk of Cheese time,” Benrey said.</p>
<p>“How many times do I have to tell you it’s Chuck E. Cheese?” Joshua’s dad asked, fake exasperated.</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure it’s Chunk of Cheese, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer said. “I read it on Wikipedia, the Free Online Encyclopedia that Anyone Can Edit!”</p>
<p>“Then someone must have edited the page!” Joshua’s dad said.</p>
<p>“No you moron, it’s Chunk of Cheese!” Bubby shouted.</p>
<p>“I’m not getting involved,” Darnold said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.</p>
<p>“Chunk of Cheese!” Melissa yelled excitedly.</p>
<p>“At least we can… all agree that it is a… family entertainment center,” G-Man said.</p>
<p>“No it’s not!” Joshua’s dad shouted as the group began to make their way to the parking lot. </p>
<p>“what, do you wanna kiss about it?” Benrey asked.</p>
<p>Joshua chuckled when his dad blushed, and was about to follow them all, but he blinked and suddenly the world around him was completely different. He smiled at the familiar walls of code and glanced around. </p>
<p>“Congratulations, Joshua!” Tommy said, standing off to his right. Sunkist barked in agreement, and Joshua grinned at them both.</p>
<p>“Thanks guys!” He said. “You could’ve just said something when you caught up to the rest of us though.”</p>
<p>“W-well, actually, I… I wanted to give you a… sort of a special speech!” Tommy said.</p>
<p>“Oh? What’s up?” Joshua asked. “Also, uh, do you mind if I take my gown off? It’s getting hot in this thing.”</p>
<p>Tommy chuckled and nodded, so Joshua began to shrug his gown off. “I wanted to not only c-congratulate you, Joshua, but also say… say thank you.” Joshua finished getting his gown off and waited for Tommy to continue. “It is… it’s amazing what all we’ve been able to do in the l-last three years, and… and it’s all thanks to you!”</p>
<p>“Oh, c’mon, give yourself a little credit!” Joshua said. “I mean, you did all the work, really.”</p>
<p>“N-not at all!” Tommy said. “If it weren’t for you, then… then I’d still be stuck here, and so would everyone else.” He stepped forward to hug Joshua tightly. Hugging Tommy always felt weird. Even if you couldn’t see that his body was almost entirely made of code, it still was, and hugging something that wasn’t quite there would always be odd. </p>
<p>That didn’t mean it couldn’t also be comforting.</p>
<p>“Without you, J-Joshua, we’d all still be stuck in… in the game,” Tommy said as he let go. He held Joshua’s shoulders to look him in the eye. “I d-don’t know what I did to… to end up with you as my nephew, b-but… whatever it was, I’m glad I did it.” </p>
<p>“Me too,” Joshua said. His vision was getting blurry, so he hugged Tommy again before he could stop himself. “You guys… all of you, you really changed my life, my dad’s life too. Definitely for the better.”</p>
<p>“You b-both changed ours too,” Tommy said, hugging Joshua tightly. “By the way, you… you totally stole my thunder.”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Joshua asked, chuckling.</p>
<p>“I was going to ask Darnold out at Chuck E. Cheese, b-but I’ll never be able to top your party today!” Tommy said teasingly.</p>
<p>Joshua laughed and squeezed him tightly. “You’ll figure something else out!” He said. “If I’m at college by then, I want you to call me, okay?”</p>
<p>“O-of course!” Tommy said. He ruffled Joshua’s hair when they both pulled back. “I’ll meet you there, okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Joshua said. “Oh, real quick, everyone’s started calling it ‘Chunk of Cheese’ to piss off my dad. I figured you’d want in on that.”</p>
<p>Tommy grinned. “Oh, absolutely,” he said. Sunkist barked, and Tommy laughed. “W-white like a crappie means Sunkist is happy!” He said.</p>
<p>“I still think that’s the worst rhyme yet,” Joshua said. “White crappies aren’t even white! And the word sounds gross! Seriously, fish should <i>not</i> be used for these rhymes.”</p>
<p>Tommy shook his head and chuckled. “I’ll see you a-at Chunk of Cheese,” he said.</p>
<p>“See ya, Tommy,” Joshua said. He waved, and when he blinked again, he was standing in front of his car. He waved to his dad in the distance, who waved back, getting confirmation that he was alright and had just been with Tommy. Joshua opened the backseat door to throw his gown inside, but he held onto his cap while he got into the driver’s seat. He smiled as he looked it over, feeling the orange felt he’d hot glued on as soon as he’d found out that he was allowed to customize it. He set it in the passenger’s seat as he started up the car.</p>
<p>The Half Life logo sat face up, proudly showing the words “Onwards and Upwards!” on the top written in green marker, and more words written on the bottom in black.</p>
<p>“This is Where I Get Off.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much to everyone that has taken the time to read this fic! I was really anxious about the reception of it, but I'm so happy that you all liked it! Your comments and kudos and bookmarks really kept me going through this whole thing, and I'm so glad that this is my first multichapter fic in this fandom. Hopefully it won't be the last! All of your support went a long way with this fic, and I appreciate it more than I could ever put into words.</p>
<p>Goodbye, Readers!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've always loved the idea of grown up Joshua dealing with some of the fallout (heh) of the game, and this idea popped into my head and it would not leave no matter what I tried. Some of the characters are going to be OOC, but those are for plot reasons, and I promise I'll address them sooner or later!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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